the ordinary syasya

this is thoughtful.

2012-01-29T09:01:00.000-08:00

when i was young.

2012-01-29T01:54:00.000-08:00

i believe, everyone has a childhood's dream. or so called an ambition. i would like to rectify the meaning of ambition. usually, people will interpret the meaning is for having a strong desire for success or achievement. meanwhile, the meaning of dream is a series of images, ideas, emotions and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind. Most of the time a dream will occur during stages of sleep. Dream can be interpreted as an aspiration for you to achieve your ambition. in other words, people will tend to have a dream first before they assign their ambition. however we've always misinterpret this matter. do you realize that, we used to tell people about our dreams and we've set aside our ambition.

when i was 5, people have always asked me about my ambition, and i said "i dream to be a doctor".

after all, it was only a dream, u see??

today, i'm awake from the dream and i'm not a doctor. hha.

what i'm trying to say is a dream is only a dream, but because of dream u are someone!

all this while, i'm trying to find my way out from the dream and i would like to be someone out of dream. i wanna live in my reality which i've always been dreaming for.( brpe byk dream daa..)
i have never dream to be a lawyer and i have never thinking of someone who live in legal field. in my dreams, i 've always wanted to be someone who playing part in music, instead of to be a doctor. hhe.

we can have many of dreams but we only own one ambition. did u know that??

tomorrow is my big day as i'm going to do my attachment in legal firm and yet i'm not ready to get out from my dream! hhaa, i do hope evrything will be fine and i will not evoke any serious matters during the practical for one month. even it is one (1) but it is a MONTH in which equivalent to 30 days. hhaa long way to die! :) whatever it is, i wish all the best for my self as well for all uitm's lawmates. as for me, no longer to dream and it's time to shoot for the dream!

hhaa nak selit jgk yg ni, hero malaya seantaro dunia ni! :)

here i go

2012-01-26T06:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not lookin' for someone to talk to
I've got my friends, I'm more than okay
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but it's not all they say

Still I believe, I'm missin' somethin' real
I need someone who really sees me

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believin' you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't criticize it, I had no hesitation
My imagination just stole me away

Still I believe
I'm missin' somethin' real
I need someone who really sees me

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believin' you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a momentSo how could I throw it awayYeah, I'm only humanAnd nights grow colderWith no one to love me that wayYeah, I need someone who really sees me

which one do you prefer?

2012-01-26T04:12:00.000-08:00

there is a saying - tiada dahulu, tiada lah yang sekarang. #mata terkebil2.

hhaa, so whats's the point? since i have about a week to spent on before my practical starts, i've spent it much on watching dvd with my friend. and we were like super damn bored and decided to watch a movie called what's your number. the movie was interesting ,as it tells about how a woman so curious about numbers of all men who she had slept with. she had conversation among her friends and found out that her average was so greater than her friends. (oemgiiii) she finally decided to have a serious concern over it and had wished to finalize the numbers and look for her 20th men to sleep with. she started to go after few men and surprisingly, the 20th man was her neighbor who had always make time for her or so called her best friend. well, as you can simplify here, i tried to make this, as a suggested movie to watch! hha.

okey i'm done with the promotion, now get things straight. i really like the song which had been used in the movie. it was so great and had magnetized me! itu klau i la. there are two versions of it. the first one was a single released in 1876 by New Order and the other one was in 1994 by frente. honestly i do like the latest in time by frente because it sounds very melancholic and so does the lyric! lets have a moment to lend your ears! eh forgot plak nk bgtau title - the song called Bizarre Love Triangle.

(1994 by frente)- yg ni bole tarik selimut nanges bwh bntal, okey SHUT UPPP

(1876 by New Order)- yg ni boleh gelek2 skit, because it's lil bit fast.

The Vow.

2012-01-22T10:48:00.001-08:00

hommaigod, i just cant wait this movie to be released! it's very fascinating, and it goes very attractive. The Vow is an upcoming romantic drama film directed by Michael Suscy and starring by Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum (yg hensseemm gile tu) and got Jeffrey Donovan, Lucas Grabeel, Sam Neill, Scott Speedman and Jessica Lange. The filM is based on a true story about a young woman who loses all recent memory in a car accident and struggles to rebuild her identity. It's based on the book of the same title, which is the story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter. The wife is put in a coma, where she is cared for by her devoted husband. When she comes to without any memory of her husband or their mariage, the husband "woos" her and attempts to win her heart again. It sounds pathetic yet it's a maximize of blisfulness. because it's proven now, at least there's still a man who really contrive himself to bring about the so called "TRUE LOVE" in this world. hhaaaa. so semua perempuan boleh lari2 luar rumah pegi cari true lover skrg. :)

you can laugh at me now, people.

2012-01-22T09:52:00.000-08:00

recently, i've spent so much time with people who managed to make me realize that, there are something left for me to cherish upon. i'm not loser, and i can make my life even better. time is keep going, so do i. if you find yourself so hard to sort problems, then do not even welcome it!! prevent it, as long as you can. what would make you so hard to keep going without hesitating? it's easy, just keep going, keep flying up high and do not feel afraid of height. people who scared of height are people who did not have challenges in life. We will always be tempted with things surrounding us and just please don't be affected of those. The strength is in yourself, either you use it or leave it. But if you leave it, better be prepared because u'll never get it back. Even if you deprive it, make sure that you don't lose it. Once you lose it, do not please others to verify your strength, because after all, you've showed your truly WEAKNESSES.

-syasya'syazwanie-

it is not easy to insist someone to listen, but this time you should.

2011-12-29T22:26:00.000-08:00

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

- spread the wings as welcoming the final exam-

2011-12-24T13:11:00.000-08:00

the time has come.14 weeks have ended. everyone is preparing himself or herself to face the battle. hha yeah the war is begin. final exam will be held in two weeks times. the weapons are only the books and save the bullets to be written on the paper. enemies will be covered up with the knowledges as their defense. identify their weaknesses and hijack their focus. yeah bring it on baby, let ourselves to be fully prepared and don't let yourself to be wallowed by the red blood . seek an attention when people engrossed, find your intensity when people limped. do your best in battlefield because once you got shot, see you again for next semester.

come on guys, wish you the very best of luck.

-syasya sayzwany-

happy becoming birthday Shahidul Hafiz.

2011-12-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty I know she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

Wish You Were Here

2011-11-15T01:34:00.000-08:00

"Wish You Were Here"

I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all

There's a girl
who gives a shit
behind this wall
You've just walked through it

And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It's who I am, don't have to try hard
We always say, say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

persepsi.

2011-11-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

2 mnggu yg lepas,saye and family sempat pulang ke kg halaman trcinta di perak, and jmpe sume saudare mare. biaselah bile la dah jmpe saudare mare ni, mcm2 la soalan dan ayat yg biase dgr. ade yg sedap di dengar ade yg x best di dengar. bnde yg paling biase sgt dgr, "wah.. makin kurus.." , "sehat ke? bf mane? ", "kenape balik sorng je, sorang tu x ikut? " "bljar elok2 jgn lupe mak ayh ".
some part of it, mmg best lah bile org tgur kite mkin kurus kan. walaupun in a way org tu sbnrnye nk bgtau mcm ni "eh kau ni pesal kurus sgt? xnk mkn ke kau patah hti? ke kau nk diet cpt dpt bf baru,kau ni sakit ke org buat?" hhhaa. tu upama je erh. pandai2 la tafsir sndri ikut citarase msing2. :)
sepatutnye ade beberape prkare la yg saye nk "stress" kn kt cnie. utk jdi sbgai kwn2, bile dah lme x jmpe, it is okey la for you nk tnye khabar die, tnye ape yg had happened dlm life die since you guys lme x jmpe ke ape kn. tpi as a family member, i think it is not the way you address people bile dah lme x jmpe. why should have you espressed your negative thoughts towards him or her, all this while? hha kelakar kan. x nmpk ke dah kantoi kat situ sbnrnye slme ni you sgt sebuk hal peribadi luar dalam die. i x mrh pon bile org tgur i mcm tu. in fact, bnde tu lgi buat saye bersikap jujur. bile org tnye, kite jaawab je la bnde yg btul. why should i keep it by myself. klau org tu bersikap jujur ngan kite, knpe kite x boleh kn? cume jujur la saye bgtau, adela bnde2 yg buat saye terkilan bile dgr. well, knpe bnde tu nmpk complicated bgi dieorg bile ade bnde yg x kne pade saye? it should not be that way. x salah if you cube nak tau ape khabar diri org tu bile lame x jmpe. tpi msti la ade care2 die, or pantang larang die.hhah. tpi alhmdulillah, saye bukanlah jenis x boleh terime dgn kate2 org. dah selalu sgt pon lalui bnde2 tu. bagi lah saye 100 soalan ganas dan panas pon, insyaallah saye boleh lagi jawab dgn hti yg tenang. :)
hari raye mcmni, mmg elok lah kite rapatkan hubungan sesame keluarga, mase tu lah kite tau siape diri kite di mata keluarga. mungkin ade yg baik atau yg kurang baik.
after all, it was still a great celebration, and had a safe journey. x bosan la sebab ade hero teman sepanjang perjalanan. hhi :) again, happy eid mubarak kawan2 :)

You promised me-Ingrid

2011-10-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

hey you, promises are like babies, easy to make, hard to deliver.
I'm an average girl, and sometimes I wish I could be more than that: to exceed excellence. As the days seem to go on endlessly, I await the 'someday' I've always been promised. That 'someday' when things are supposed to be perfect... the 'someday' when I find my place in this unforgiving world.Therefore never promise a poor person, and never owe a rich one.

Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath (Acoustic for Orange).mp4

2011-10-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Never Cry Again- Dash Berlin (with lyrics)

2011-10-22T01:36:00.000-07:00

For the way you changed my plans

For being the perfect distraction

For the way you took the idea that i have

Of everything that i wanted to have

And made me see there was something missing.

god plz :(

Syasya Syazwany

Geisha - Jika Cinta Dia

2011-10-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Colbie Caillat - I Do

2011-10-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

someone like you.

2011-10-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

pen dan pensil pilihan hidup.

2011-09-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

AMARAN.

jgn pernah tanye i soalan ni.

kenape mcmtu? boleh ke? x ape ke? selalu ke? mcm mane?

jgn prnah persoalkan ape yg i mampu dan x mampu buat. itu semua kerja tuhan. kalau dah tertulis macam tu ceritanye, kite takde kuasa nk persoalkan semua tu. cuba kite belajar memahami sesuatu tanpa bertanyakan atau persoalkan ape yg bakal jadi ataupon yg telah jadi. perhatikan keadaan sekeliling. masing2 ade coretan hidup yg dilukis oleh diri mereka sendiri. mungkin kite hanya perlu pinjam pen atau pensil daripada org lain. tapi jangan biarkan org lain yg melukiskan cara hidup anda. pegang pensil tu dgn diri sendiri, lukis dengan seikhlas hati, padamkan jika ade yg tersilap coret. jgn berhenti melukis sehingga tangan u sendiri dah tidak berfungsi (mati). pen yg dipinjam hanyalah sebagai pembakar semangat u utk terus melukis. memang betul, tanpa pen atau pensil tu, tak kan adalah hasilnya. pokok pangkal itu semua usaha kite sendiri, jgn silap memilih pen atau pensil. kalau tersilap, mungkin ia mudah patah ketika kite melukis. itulah satu punca kite berputus asa. jika nak nampak lukisan lebih menarik, pilihla warna2 yg indah dipandang. insyaallah, cantik hasil lukisan tu.

setiap hari i bangun, i ibaratkan diri i sedang melukis sesuatu yg tak kan ade penghujungnye sehingga i sendiri berada di penghujungnye. hidup adalah bukan sesuatu yg murah. ia ibarat lukisan yg mahal,hasil titik peluh seorang manusia. bukan mudah sesuatu lukisan itu boleh ditukar ganti tapi ia boleh diubah. jangan mudah terpedaya utk menjual lukisan mahal ini. memandangkan ia sesuatu yg berharga pada anda, tidak salah kite menjaga dan menyimpannya dan digantung di tempat paling tinggi. supaya hidup anda ibarat maruah yg tertinggi yg bukan mudah utk diambil atau dibelek2. biar lah terlalu tinggi, semakin tinggi, semakin terjaga lukisan itu. tetapi ingat, sekali lukisan ini tercoret dgn lukisan2 kotor, pemadam (doa) sedia ada untuk kita.

ikhlas,

syasya syazwany.

suara broery reminds me of someone .

2011-09-24T00:56:00.000-07:00

x salah sekali sekale layan hha:). actually BROERY is one of the male singer I admire most. Suara die reminds me of someone. sgt sexy and matang mcmtu. ouch.. hhe:) enjoy!

2011-09-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

it has been a week, i've been in a situation that i couldnt explain. i tried to resist all the matters which seriously i dont like to deal with those. sgt memeningkan kepala, all i wish now is to keep on playing on my role as an ordinary person without terrible thoughts and seangkatan dgnnye. why cant we just be pretend that we are all the same. there's no need to compare about, and there's no need to judge on. i dont like time where i have to put my tears on and i have to plug an earphone by listening to all songs which remind me of everything. i hate that btw. but it keeps on playing. the fact is, i dont have to run away from the situation that makes me feel "am i the only person with all these thoughts?" or "do i have to be in the situation anyway". A situation explains you everything, you dont have to narrow it down. i dont have to LEARN bout my situation. come on it just a piece of shit. once you done, take it away with you, dont left it behind. FULLSTOP.

2011-09-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

2011-08-19T04:22:00.000-07:00

jum nyanyi.

2011-08-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

tutup mata, rehatkn minda.

2011-08-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

cukuplah. dah penat nak pedihkan mata semata2. i dah bersyukur dgn ape yg i ade, i x mintak lebih, i x mintak kurang. ape yg dah jadi atau ape yg akn jadi, tu sume ketentuanNYA. kite sbgai manusia xde kuasa nk mengarah2 org suruh ubah haluan hidup die. ketentuan tu sume terletak pada maha kuasaNYA. kite ni manusia biase, xde sape yg hebat, xde spe yg kebal, xde sape yg disanjungi selain yg kat atas tu. jgn la penah sesekali rase diri dah cukup sempurna. semua tu sementara. walaupon umur i 21 thn, tpi byk pengajaran yg i dapat dlm hidup ni. jangan la kite sesekali nak iri hati dgn org lain, itu semua punca kite lupa diri. selalu ingat kelemahan diri, selalu ingat tahap kemampuan diri. i tak cakap i betul, tpi bile i cube betulkan keadaan ade je bende yg menguji tahap kesabaran. i x cari gaduh dgn sesiape, jadi tolong berhenti mengata i yg bukan2. itu bukan caranye. klau nk tau cerita betul, tanye i sndri. jgn berkata kat belakang2 ni, seolah2 u tau sume tentang diri i. cukup lah "judge" ape yg i buat, ape yg dah jadi dgn i, cukuplah. sekali i dgr cerita2 busuk ni sume, percayalah i menagis sebab kata2 org. berbaloi ke sume tu? jgn rse diri selalu btul, i pernah rase akibatnye. itu bukan caranye. lantak la ape yg dah berlaku tu sume ketentuanNYA. klau kite duk mengata, menghakimi org lain, itu maknenyer u menghakimi kehendak TUHAN. tpi u siape??

i penat nk dgr lagi, mcm2 yg i dpt kene "tepek" je kat muke. klau nak pandang hina kat orang, tepuk dada tnye selera dlu. i sabar dan terus sabar. i tau sabar tu la "perisai" kite. i x kesah klau i xde kawan2 hebat, cukupla kawan yg ade mase susah mahupon senang, tpi klau kite susah pon, kawan2 lari buat2 x tau, i x kan berdendam. itu sume lumrah manusia. klau dah ade belang tu, salin kulit macam mne pon ade jgk belangnye.

sampai satu mase, kite semua terkedu. ape yg kite buat hari ni, ade balasannye esok hari. same ade baik ataupon buruk.

ini peringatan jgk pada diri i, byk lagi yg perlu diperbaiki, mahupon dalam dan luar. i terlalu penat, penat,penat,penat,penat dan juge penat.

semoga berjaya hidup korang di luar sane. klau jatuh tersungkur, hulurkan tangan pada yg ESA.

_ selamat berpuasa_

HERO of mine .

2011-08-05T08:31:00.001-07:00

pray for him everyone. he's having breathing problem yg doctor pon x berani nk do something more. so die just mkn ubat yg mencairkn bnde2 ktor dlm pernafasan die. die xnk snyum, ketawa, bcoz die tau yg die x selesa dgn environment yg die lalui now. slalu die la org yg paling suke tgk camera bile tngkp gmbr tpi bukan dgn muka mcm ni

tapi klau ade org dukung die, badan sedap plak tu ,mule lah buat muka chomel ala2 hindustan shah rukh khan die tu. ade sorang kakak ni dukung die kt jusco terus snyum lebar.
.

insyaallah die akn sembuh cpt. i tau i bukan tuhan, x mampu nk buat ape2. tpi die trlalu kcil lgi nk faham and kuat utk tempuh sakit die tu. doktor expect die jantung, sbab dah melibatkn paru2. tpi insyaallah dgn berkat doa semua org, i harap die akn sembuh and mampu trsnyum mcm dlu2. mcm pic ni.

a little bit of "sabar" resulting in a great of "bahagia"

2011-08-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

i cube nk tahan marah bile bulan puase ni. sedar diri ni bile cakap kasar dgn org, for sure la rase serba salah. tpi i tak tau la org2 yg sngaje nk saketkn hati ni. i x ckp i ni penyabar, tpi normal la bile kite mrah, mngkin kite bersuara ataupon kite diam je. tpi jgn la uji tahap kesabaran seseorg. i pon tau perasaan org lain bile i sndri yg buat salah, mesti lah ade rse serba salah. tipu la klau kite ni berlagak sepanjang mase x nk mengaku salah sndri. kan elok bulan2 puasa ni, selain kite menahan kelaparan kite, and cube la tahan perasaan mrh ni. semua tu ade eloknye, klau kite x praktik dri sekarang, sampai bile kite x reti mengawal emosi. i cakap ni utk peringatan diri sendiri, supaya i ingat ape yg i buat semuanye betul. mungkin ade baiknye ataupon buruk. semua yg kite lakukan dah ditentukan oleh Allah SWT, tpi ALLAH biar kn kite menilai sendiri kelakuan kite kat dunia ni., supaya kite sndri yg menentukan jalan masa depan kite. tpi Alhamdulillah, bile i sndiri yg x reti kawal emosi, tpi sedikit sebanyak ade beri i pngajaran supaya i bersabar dgn lbih byk lagi. kesabaran tu penting, ibarat u corak hidup u sndiri. klau u sndri pon x pernah bersabar, kelam kabut la hidup kite ni. i suke tgk gelagat org2 zaman sekarang including myself. kite sebenarnye berlumba2 nk dapat ape yg org lain dpt, tpi kite sndri x pernah bersabar, bile kite x dpt tu yg nk marah je. tpi klau kite amalkan sikap bersabar, byk faedahnye. i amek petikan surah ni dari blog ustaz utk mngelak kite drpd marah tak tentu hala.

Doa pertama:

اللَّهُمَّ آتِ نَفْسِي تَقْوَاهَا، وَزَكِّهَا أَنْتَ خَيْرُ مَنْ زَكَّاهَا، أَنْتَ وَلِيّهَا وَمَوْلاَهَا

Maksudnya: Ya Allah berikanlah kekuatan jiwa padaku, sucikanlah jiwaku, Engkaulah yang paling elok yang menyucikannya, Engkaulah walinya dan Engkaulah tuannya.

Doa kedua (sebelum dan selepas tidur):

اللَّهُمَّ عَالِمَ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ فَاطِرَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ رَبَّ كُلِّ شَىْءٍ وَمَلِيكَهُ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِى وَمِنْ شَرِّ الشَّيْطَانِ وَشِرْكِهِ

Maksudnya: Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Yanga Maha Mengetahui Perkara Yang Gahib dan Nyata, Pencipta langit dan bumi, Tuhan segala sesuatu dan Pemiliknya. Aku bersaksi tida Tuhan melainkan Engkau. Aku Memohon dengan Engkau daripada keburukan diriku dan daripada keburukan Syaitan serta sekutunya.

from now on, i kne belajar daripada diri sendiri bukan dri org lain. mulekan dgn diri sendiri bru kite menilai org lain. apepon yg jadi, memang akn timbul kemarahan tpi sebaliknye penuh dgn hikmah yg tak trhingga. Allah janjikan yg terbaik utk kite, bukan ketentuan yg buruk2. klau kite syg Allah swt, adelah die di saat2 kite jatuh mahupon kite brjaya.

i jnji dgn myself, i x nk mrh2 lagi. ape2 pon i doakan yg terbaik utk org2 lain supaya ade kemajuan yg akn berlaku. i kne mulakan doa utk kebahagiaan org lain, lepastu bru diri i.

JOM SAHUR~

puase oh puase

2011-08-01T15:22:00.000-07:00

selamat mnyambut bulan ramadhan utk sume:)

i hrp bulan yg mulia ni, byk bnde yg baik akn dtg dan kite tinggalkan perkare2 yg x elok sempena menyambut bulan mulia ni. maklumlah setahun sekali je kite dpt meraikan sebelum hari raya yg akn tiba. i rase msti rmai yg dah buat preparation utk raya nnti wlaupon bru first day brpuase.

tpi byk bnde yg berubah tpi kite sndri x sedar. mungkin diri kite sibuk nak berdepan perkara2 yg akn dtg, tpi lupe sumenye x same seprti tahun lepas, ataupon sebelum2 nye. ade dua je kemungkinan, perubahan yg menyeronokkan atau pon mnyedihkn. bgi i, bulan puasa kali ni mungkin agak suram. sbb i dah bkrje, so berbuka pon kt tmpat keje utk hari pertama sorang2 je kt counter. biasela keje shift 8 jam, bos x bagi rehat lama2. yg jage counter pon cume sorang je, xde staff lain, utk hri pertama ni, mama trsayang bekalkan lauk yg die masak, so at leaSt dpt la merase masakan die wlaupon kt tmpt keje. i x anggap bnde ni menyedihkn. tpi yg penting i rindu murtabak favourite dkt bazar wngsamju, arghhh, tnsionnye x dpt pgi bazar lngsung. xkn nk tnggu time cuti je sedangkn org lain pkul 5.30 je dah lumba2 pgi bli mknan. but still i kne kuat, keje je la time puase ni, janji dpt duit hjung bln. keje pon halal kan. yg penting i kne rajin bgn sahur, jgn mcm sblm2 ni.

ape2 pon, i hrp ramdhan korng lbih jauh bgus drpd sblm2 ni.

again, happy fasting!!

2011-08-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

plz do listen.

2011-07-29T02:09:00.000-07:00

by Rihanna- "california king bed"

chest to chest
nose to nose
palm to palm
we were always just that close
wrist to wrist
toe to toe
lips that felt just like the inside of a rose
so how come when i reach out my fingers
it feels like more than distance between us

in this california king bed
we're ten thousand miles apart
i've been california wishing on these stars for your heart for me
my california king.

eye to eye
cheek to cheek
side by side
you were sleeping next to me
arm in arm
dusk to dawn
with the curtains drawn
and a little last night on these sheets

just when i felt like giving up on us
you turned around and gave me one last hug
that made everything feel better
and even my eyes got wetter
so confused want to ask if you love me
but i dont want to seem so weak
maybe i've been california dreaming

2011-07-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

i'm in love with this song.

2011-07-02T14:20:00.000-07:00

you did it to me .

2011-06-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back.The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but some how feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

I might not get to see you as often as I'd like, I may not get to hold you in my arms at night, but deep in my heart I know that it's true. No matter what happens... I will always love you.I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't.if you love someone more then anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart.I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow, and today it can't happen now but it will someday.Nothing hurts more than waiting since I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore.And if you were to say 'come with me', even now I might go.I have waited for you for 2 years and I will wait for you for the rest of my life. Even if that means I have to give you up for the rest of my life, I will wait for you. I love you that much and nothing will ever change that....
Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have which is you.....
good nite~

evrybody's changing.

2011-06-27T02:52:00.000-07:00

i mula rase kecewa dgn pemikiran ramai org.cube la tgk sekarang, people take comedian seriously, and political as a joke. it shouldnt be that way. semua ni boleh pengaruh orang lain, yg akn terikut2 satu hri nnti. byk prkare yg berubah tpi kite sndri x perasan. nk tau knape? sbb u sndri yg berubah. kdg2 perubahan u pon, org x kan perasan. see everything and everybody is changing.
kdg2 i sndri plak rse takut dgn perubahan yg melampau2 ni. kite x perasan lngsung yg perubahan tu bole rosakkan sesuatu in future.i dont feel safe bile org nk berubah tapi smpai perlu berlumba2 siape yg lagi hebat. ya tuhan, if u berlumba utk kebaikan, alhamdulillah. tpi jgn la smpai sakitkan hati org lain ataupon lupa asal usul diri. kdg2 sume ni beri peringatan and pengajaran jgk supaya terus ingat siapa diri i , dari mane i dtg dan smpai mana tahap kemampuan ni. bile kite tau tahap kemampuan diri, mungkin kita xkn senang menyalahkan org and even you have to be blame, please dont CHANGE. :) bile dunia semakin moden, sume org nk jadi nombor 1. klau x dpt nmber stu pun, at least u tau u dkt satu level yg tinggi. bkn ape, skrg ni sume org nk disenangi. kdg2 hubungan antara kita dgn kawan ke, mak ayah, jiran ke, kawan bru ke. cikgu ke ape2 la, akn jdi rosak. bknnye sbb ape, u just nk berubah supaya u disenangi org rmai. lpastu timbul la hasat dengki bagai.
peringatan di sini,berubah tu satu transformasi yg bagus. maknenye masih ade lgi ruang utk u mngenali dunia luar dan berubah ikut peredaran zaman. tpi setiap yg u lakukan , msti ade tujuan. tapi kalau dah berubah dgn JAYANYA, jgn la plak u bangga, and riak. untuk elakkan semua tu, penghargaan pling bgus :) u hargai setiap perubahan yg berlaku and cube kaji punca u ingin berubah. mungkin u tau, u berubah demi org lain tpi ke arah kebaikan la k:) bile xde penghargaan, mungkin sbb tu la ade perubahan stage 2. i rse x ptutla u bermusuhan dgn org yg buat u berubah,walau jdi teruk atau sebaik nye pon. semua ade hikmahnye. Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. i faham mmg perubahan MENYAKITKAN. tapi, u kne ingat, when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. If you don't like something changes, if you can't change it, at least change the way you think about it.
:)tq

listen everyone.

2011-06-24T16:24:00.000-07:00

i would suggest that, it should be one interesting subject in school. students should be taught about the elements of song in school. Then maybe today's youth wouldn't be so ignorance. Besides, discoverinf the lyrics in the song is fun and you can do it as ur hobby too. as for me, while i'm listening to the music, remembering all the memories that go with the lyrics. through the lyrics, i express my self and making it as my status. hha.
Well, it depends on the lyrics. I tend to like songs that actually have lyrics with meaning. However, a lot of times, I listen to a song because it sounds good. However do you need both the lyrics and music to be good? Or do you listen to songs where you think the music is good but the lyrics are terrible? that is why, ur favourite song is yours. dunt make it people fave it because of u. let one prefer to listen to it,as they themselves choose it. because the song that you had chosen,expressed the different in you than anyone else.
at least,you believe that you are different in a good way than anyone who behave so good. :)

takut, takut

2011-06-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

it has been 2 days, i trpkir sesuatu yg x mungkin munasabah. but it makes sense, bcoz bnde ni prnah brlaku pda sesetngah org. tpi i blum ade experience lgi yg saudara mara trdekat ataupon kwn2 yg prnah mmngalami bnde ni. i trfkir nk perluaskan bnde ni bcoz it is quite attractive. hav you ever wonder that selain u and ur partner, there is org ketiga. all i know is org ketiga is known as syaitan. but what i mean is, org ketiga yg dihantar oleh org ketiga tu sndri. ok even myself confuse here. if i x silap, i watched kt tv few weeks ago,about this thing. the title was "penghalang jodoh". it was brought live on rancangan tv3, wanita hari ni. there was an ustaz invited to talk bout that. i dunt know why. i was attracted seeing dat ustaz did some "ujian" to salah seorg pesakit die which believed had been troubled dgn "penghalang jodoh" ni.
but all i know is, mmg ade yg trjadi bende2 halus yg org lain hntar utk mengecohkan lagi keadaan. tpi i selalu dgr it happened to rumah tangga, business and mcm2 lgi. and seperti yg kite tau and fahami ,ini adalah angkara perbuatan sihir kepada seseorg mungkin kerana cemburu atau dengki.
believe it or not, i did a research related to this. bukan ape, i sndri takut and mula risau. i know, most people just want happiness yg bkn sementara but selama-lamanye. tpi itu sume hukum karma, which is tida ape yg akn bhagia tnpa ade masalah skit pon. but what if u find that the problems always dtg ,satu demi satu and tk brhnti2. sometimes, u will feel that, all these hav been planned from the bgining. but dont get me wrong, i didnt say dat takdir itu selalunye buruk. tpi kdag2, bgi diri yg selalu lupakan Allah, mngkin senang untuk "makhluk2 ketiga" ini, dekat dgn kite and porak perandakan . i prcaya sume ini benar2 wujud, and ade di sekeliling kite. tpi utk org yg dah brjaya kahwin, ataupon success dlm hidup die, mungkin die x kan rasekan sesuatu seperti ini . i perlu belajar from my own mistakes yg byk i lakukan. kdg2 i menangis, dan ketika itu name Allah yg disebut2. mngkin hati i tau mne salah dan pangkal hidup i yg penuh masalah dan kesesalan. and i found an article ,beri pendapat tntang sume ni. and got most of the factors related to me so much. di antaranye ialah:
- fikiran selalu runsing
- sakit-sakit di belakang
- badan lesu, selalu letih
- sakit perut selalu
- rasa ada seseorang tidur di sebelah
- terasa 'disentuh' ketika tidur, bila sedar..badan tak dapat bergerak (dihimpit)
- suka menyendiri, pendiam
- selalu mimpi hamil / dukung anak macam anak sendiri
- selalu mimpi 'bersama' dengan seorg yg tak dikenali
- orang nampak tidurnya seperti sedang mengeluh
- orang nampak tidurnya dgn mengunyah..gigi berlaga
- selalu rasa ada sesuatu bergerak di bawah kulit
- selalu sesak nafas waktu petang lepas asar
- imsomnia - lama cuba tidur tapi tak dapat tidur walaupun badan dah letih
- bila dah tidur, selalu terjaga tengah malam
- selalu mimpi binatang/mahkluk huduh / kena kejar / melompat terjun dari tempat tinggi / - kena bunuh / mimpi kawen
- selalu kena period pain
- ada migrain yg kronik
- halangan masa beribadat contohnya mengantuk masa mengaji, solat n berzikir.
- selalu benci dgn org yg nak jadikan calon isteri / bila dah berkenan, ada halangan yg buat tak jadi
ade jgk ayat yg lagi scary i bace which is "Cuba kesan melalui tanda-tanda yang telah dikenalpasti hasil pengalaman mangsa dan pengamal rawatan Islam ini. Jika banyak YA daripada TIDAK, kemungkinan anda sedang menghadapi gangguan jin asyik (jin jatuh cinta pada manusia) atau kemungkinan menghadapi sihir gagal nikah(SIHIR PEMISAH)."

wow, i trpkir kejap, knape org2 skrg ni nnk main sihir2, and in fact i dgr daripada ustaz tu sndri, he said that, kdg2 ade org lain yg dirupakan cantik tubuh badanye, lembut suaranye, dan cantik pemikirannye, utk buat our partner akn tinggalkan kite. tpi i x pasti same ade ustaz ni maksudkan perempuan itu sbgai "ape" tapi yg i faham, she is "something"
and mngkin setelah itu our partner akn berubah dan trus berubah. mungkin membeza2 kan kite dgn org yg berparas tubuh cantik dan cantik .
mungkin jua, selalu ade masalah dlm hubbungan, yg mematahkan smngat masing2.
tpi i cube yakinkan myself ini bukan kerja "makhluk" tu or take it negatively. i percaye itu wujud dan i percaye mungkin btul x de jodoh. as i said earlier, takdir itu bkan nye selalu buruk atau pon teruk. but akn ade hikmahnye. walaupon sume "makhluk2" tu dihantar utk mengecohkan , ia tetap dikira sebagai takdir mngkin partner u mmg dgn prempuan cantek konon2 nye la tu.
haha, skrg dari seram trus nmpk kelakar.
ape2 pon, msalah dlm perhubungan datang dari kite sndri, mungkin salah silap kite juge yg menghalang ia berterusan. jadi selame 2 hari i pkir sama ada ini sume berkenaan dgn diri i, at one point i sedar, itu sume salah datang dari diri sendiri iaitu selalu jauhkan diri dgn Allah SWT. walauapepon i percaye Allah itu maha kuasa dan maha adil, DIA sahaja yg tau perjalanan ini. selagi kite mampu menangis dan mengucapkan namaNYA dlm solat dan doa, xde ape yg akn mnganggu walaupon jin atau syaitan sekebal hebat mane pon.

:)SYASYA syzwany.

let sleep take all the pain away

2011-06-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

selamat malam.
knape rse hari ni singkat je mase brjalan. oops mase tu x brjalan, tpi wlaupon die x de kaki, tpi die x kan brhnti je. die msih "berjalan". tpi berjalan ikut "sense" korang masing2 k.
cube estimate brpe jam dlm sehari, anda rse yg die sdng brjalan. honestly, saye x rse pon. cube nk perlahankan, and pura2 mase tu masih ade wlaupon skrg dah pkul 1.22 pagi.
bru tdi saye rse bru pkul 6 ptg. tpi sekarang pejam celik,pejam celik. tetap pkul 1.22 pgi.
hope klau esk bgn , boleh bagi pkul 6 ptg tdi?
let's figure out.
selamat mlm.

crashed.

2011-01-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

congratulations.
you've made ur new step LAST NITE.
i make mine.
hope u'll get what u deserve THERE,but somehow you left me neglected HERE.
please WELCOMING ur newbie, because how can this devil ever trust you again.
the fact is, u'll go there again, u went there last nite, and you did it.
no one knows what had happened, so do i.
enough.

2011-01-15T03:42:00.000-08:00

LOVE YOU. :)

piece of my heart.

2010-12-22T10:36:00.000-08:00

then i realise, we've been through so much time together.
and it will stick there as long as it will be.
we didnt notice that it was a long journey, bcause we were "busying" to build the road called "me&you"

i love you.

jangan give up.

2010-12-17T07:56:00.000-08:00

kadang2 bile cube nk perbetulkan balek semue, mesti ade je yg mnghalang.

terutamanye, "jealous".

from now on, i need emotional support sgt. something yg remeh temeh pon boleh menghiris hiris perasaan ni, cheh. hhe

well, i x larat nk menangis dan merungut lagi. banyak yg perlu diluahkan tapi xde tempat pon yg sudi menempatkan semua tu.

come on girls, jealousy wont get u anywhere.

semua tu akan melemaskan diri korang sendiri , and in the end, u guyz akan find out that the jealousy ibarat air yg sgt dalam and no one bole selamatkan u guyz melainkan diri kite sendiri.

if kite sendiri yg x pandai berenang, and the "jealousy" akn hanyutkan kite.

then i realise, maybe its about attention. but it seems worthless, ibarat, pergi memancing, pasang joran tapi xde "umpan". ade ke ikan will be attracted?

i ibaratkan the "jealousy" ibarat umpan. maybe i x de type of umpan2 yg menawan, contohnye,

suara yg manje, manis, lembut, muka cantik, rmbut panjang, bau wangi, tinggi, or lain2.

but i juge ibaratkan the "jealousy" ibarat suara hati i sendiri. maybe i x boleh put in words, to tell someone mcm ni- "i seorang yg sgt cemburu" or " i memang kuat jealous" or "i berdaarah cemburu" (contoh je, hhee)

kenape ibarat suara hati?

maybe i x reti put in words, to tell someone mcm ni- "i sayang u lah" or "u x sedar ke, i ade u je" or " i love u" or "u are mine" atau pon yg lain2.

takpe lah, cukuplah ape yg dah datang and bukakan pintu utk ape yg akan mendatang.

i know, i'm not really good mcm org lain, yg mampu nk tarik perhatian or attention org lain dgn begitu je.hhu.

being fair and being honest will make u to be more appreciated.

its okay if tiade sape yg sayang kn kite sebenarnye, but make sure u guyz rase disayangi. (confident)hhe

macam tu je

2010-11-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

evrybody is cheering untuk hari2 yg seronok . tapi i rase seronok bile i tgk org2 lain meraikan sesuatu yg akan mendatang ataupon telah pergi.. kadang2 perkara tu lah, yg mmberi i smngat. mcm hri ni, hari jadi adek i, ye ke 10-tahun. seronok bile tgk die happy ,and my whole family celebrate, nyanyi birthday song utk die. smpai satu tahap, i trdiam and bayangkan , kan best if i boleh jadi adek i now. x payah fikir semua masalah yg i hadapi. sepatutnye, i dah hbes final exam and its time for me rehatkan diri dri mslah. but i'm still stuck here. going nowhere. i couldnt sleep, i x bole pejamkan mate, and i x boleh pretend masalah ni akan pergi bile tibe hari esok.

untuk sesiape yg msih ade lgi ruang utk hari esok, go celebrate it sebelum "hari" tu pergi.

nite2, and selamat hari raya aidiladha.

dunia.

2010-10-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

bila kite sendiri hilang dalam dunia yg kita pijak, akan rase saket seolah dunia ni sendiri menelan kite. tuhan sentiasa mndengar dan melihat ape yg kite lalui, kuatkan hati ,tempoh satu persatu.
kadang2 ape yg kite bina and harapkan ,bukan seperti yg ada di depan mata. perasaan ni seperti sebuah lagu, kita sendiri yg reka dan cipta lirik dan susunannye. kuatkan hati seperti mane kite menyampaikan lagu tu sendiri....

dont let it burn.

2010-10-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

" trust me la ain..i told u die sume mcm mane..mase i told u 2 kan i baru break dgn die..please la die yg nk jumpe i sgt check phone i sume..i tau die amek number u..tp time 2 die xpuas hati die kate y i leave her mesti ade girls laen..xpelah its ok u da xpercaye i kan..ape lah nasib i ni..sorry la if u rase i tipu u..t.c "

taken :
18/8/2010

(please stop burning the memories)

describes.

2010-07-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

SHE'S DISASTER.

it suits me.

:)

as we forgive,we will be forgiven.

2010-06-26T04:05:00.000-07:00

healing a broken heart is hard to do.

You feel this way, yet you know that the two of you can no longer be together....it just didn't work because of too many fights, too much distance, some other problem. Whoever said, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved" has never experienced this feeling of loss. What I'm talking about is a broken heart.

I've had my own heart broken, too, so I have considerable empathy for my situation. The advice "take it one day at a time" often seems cliche. We think we've crossed the hurdle and are out of tears or sadness when suddenly we hear a song, see a movie, or have some other action or event trigger our memory of our past love. How does it ever get easier?

How can we plan to forgive without digging up the past? As we show mercy, mercy will be shown to us. How can we show mercy to others? As we have fun, with joy, kindness, and happiness, we will gain more joy, kindness, and happiness
To heal the pain, I won't tell you how long it will take, because for some it takes days, for others weeks, for others years. When we have a healed heart, our heart is no longer concerned with how we were hurt, rather, our heart is concerned with how to love. We must forgive the past and move on to loving our self.

It is important , to not immediately replace love for our self with love for another. If we immediately date someone new, we run the risk of reliving the mistakes all over again and not learning!!
The pain is unbearable. i feel so lost, alone and confused that sometimes i feel like crawling in a hole and dying.
that's me, who never know how to heal a broken heart.
but i'll hide it (broken heart) good:)

_syasya syazwany_

never cry again, by dash berlin (original)

2010-06-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

check out the song at my page now.
the song makes me think of somone, he wasnt around with me here
i wish he'll be back safe wit me.
:(

I saw you ,Again,
I knew just where you'd be
I'll stop this real soon when you're back safe with me
When you come home, Ill stop this
When you come home, Ill hide it good
Ill never cry again, when you come home, to me
In pictureI'd see it, you weren't really there
In truth , IStill feel it hanging in the air
When you come home, Ill stop this
When you come home, Ill hide it good
l'll never cry again, when you come home, to me
Come home to me

_with heart_
syasya syazwany.
miss you much, eric' hafiz

taken from the heart of mine.

2010-06-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes ,Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
will i take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you?
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold, will I be the one that's there to hold?
I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone ,I promise I'll be there for you .
i promise, i will.

syasya syazwany.

x mungkin terlepas.

2010-05-11T14:42:00.001-07:00

i suke pkul 5 pagi ni, bile semua org sdang tidur lena, suasana sunyi, hanye rase angin2 yg sejuk and blik yg gelap, boleh dikatakan semua yg i tulis dtg dari hati, and ikhlas bunyinye.
i bole rase semua fikiran2 org yg sedang tidur ni, dan i kaitkan satu2 menjadi cerita.
i bole bayangkan ape yg dieorg lalui hari ni, dgn siape dieorg gelak ketawa, ape dieorg makan, ape yg dieorg bualkan,,dgn spe dieorg brjumpe.
tapi hati and perasaan i masih beku tiada "signal", tiade arah petunjuk.
i trpkir, kalau i plak yg tido, siape yg nak bace fikiran and ape yg i lalui hari ni.
minggu depan i dah nak brtolak ke langkawi, ikut my auntie dgn cucu2 die jalan2.
cant wait utk tngkan fikiran, and fkir utk the next step.
tpi syg, for the next step, i will lead the way, bkn bimbingan org lain lgi.
brsyukurlah pde sesiape yg msih dipimpin org, dicium org, di beri kasih syg , jgn lepaskan sume tu.

mungkin atau x mungkin, i kene stop rase "sesuatu" ni.
mungkin atau x mungkin jgk , "sesuatu" ni akan betul2 pergi atau mmg die ditakdirkan utk jdi sbhagian dari diri i.
tapi memang mungkin i "sayang".

nite nite.muahss.

with love
_syasya shahdan_

2010-05-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

mari kite brsifat optimistik.
it means, the tendency to expect the best and see the best in all things.
but having so much dat particular feeling pon mcm bahaya jgk.
tpi bgus jgk if slalu ade prasaan mcm tu, coz u will always be in confidence ,type of person larh kan.
tpi i xnk brkifiran yg mcm tu.
coz i slalu akn salah tafsir. x kire dlm ape skali pon. kdg2 bile i rse itula jln yg trbaik, tpi msti i silap.
tapi ape2 pon yg dtg, mstila kite kne anggap tu sbgai pngajaran and ade hikmah sebalik sume tu.
mungkin bile i smpai ke satu tahap yg org lain x dpt rse utk umur i yg trlalu muda ni, i kne brsyukur.
memang tuhan menguji kite, tpi org sekeliling kite yg akan menilai.
kalau kite trlalu yakin yg org sekeliling kite selesa dgn kewujudan kite, mungkin x dpt mmbantu kite utk membetulkan sifat2 buruk yg kite ade. (byknye "kite"?) :)
erm okeyla x payah ckp pasal "kite", jum ckp psl diri sndiri..

diri i x lah confidence mne. tpi i suke letak diri i dlm situasi very "hopefulness"".
i suke letak hope yg tnggi2, tpi bile i x dpt, i akn mrh2, push2 org, merajuk, xnk mkn, xnk keluar, xnk mngalah..
susahkan jdi cm tu.
padehal i x sdar, yg org lain pon letak harapan tnggi utk i.
especially mama and baba. tpi bile i x buat, dieorg xde pon marah2 , or buat mcm i buat.
so i patut contohi dieorg. maybe dieorg x mrh2, x push2, coz dieorg syg i sbgai ank dieorg.
maybe i kne imitate bnde tu ckit, so bile i letak hope tnggi2, tpi i dpt, i x pyh la mrh2 sbb i syg org tu sgt...

maybe i kne paham ape yg org lain rase. bukan always letakkan diri i dekat dlm situasi i je..
xkan i nk mrh2 , push2 org. i have to understand that not always ape yg i minx mungkin i dpt..
i x manje, tpi mngade2, maybe.. but still i kne careful dgn ape yg i nak.
dlu i slalu x pkir pnjang,buat keputusan cpt2, xnk pkir pnjang. but now da jadi pon, i still kene ade level of confidence tu tpi bukan letak harapan yg tnggi.....

i nk tdo bole..?

_syasya shahdan__

doctor, i knew it already.

2010-05-09T04:46:00.000-07:00

i just got back from clinic and i was alone.

i wish to recover soon.

was a bad news to tell.

nak tido puas2.

"happy mothers day, mama"

with love,

sara asyuka.

stupid mistake.

2010-05-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

hari ni memang betul2 menguji kesabaran aku.
aku demam, aku muntah2, aku lapar,
but still ade lagi manusia2 yg x paham bahasa.
buat prtama kali utk tahun ni aku brgduh dgn org luar sbb nak amek balik adek aku.
jangan jadi perangai mcm sial.
peduli ape aku.
tapi jangan kau berani nak perlekehkan keluarga aku, lebih2 lagi adek prmpuan aku.
jgn rase diri kau bagus jantan.
walaupon kau umur 22 ke, 23 ke, dah x de kata-kata sopan aku bole bagi kat muka kau.
naseb baik ade kawan2 and abg polis tu tadi yg snggup nak mencelah.
kalau x, dengan muka2 kau aku bagi ludah.
aku perempuan ke, aku pondan ke, aku jantan ke,
kau manusia, aku pon manusia.
xde beza pon.
kau jgn hina aku mcm prmpuan murahan.
aku x prnah knal kau, kau x prnah knal aku.
aku pon x mintak kau knal dgn adek aku.
maki yg aku bagi tdi x kan prnah ckup.
x ckup lgi aku nak lepas geram ni.

jangan ingat prempuan2 cantek je nak himpit dgn kau, tpi adek aku kau "game".
naseb baik kau ade mase aku dtg cari kau malam tdi.
kau nak serang aku sbb tu tmpat kau?
kau nak buat ape?
rogol aku? bunuh? sepak terajang aku kat situ?
aku x takut.
kau ckp, kau nak cari aku lepas ni?? silakan jantan.
jangan ingat adek aku, kau bole tinggal2 tepi jalan, nak game die kat situ.
kau dgn kawan2 kau, mmg x patut jadi manusia.

harap kau bace la entry ni, wlaupon kau x kan bace, dan aku x ingin kau tau pon.
cukup la spe2 yg kt luar tu nak brlagak besar. aku dah bosan.

w.t.f

jom lepaskan perasaan.

2010-05-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

jom lepaskan perasaan.

dah lewat2 mcm ni pon, i cube utk tido tpi x bole. tetibe teringat my mum pesan, basuh kaki dlu. ahah, tpi dah basuh siap berus kaki dgn pencuci baju pon x boleh tdo. hhu . (cube buat lawak now).
selalunye bile i x boleh tdo, cube carik something yg bole lalaikan i, and end up dgn tdo peluk my bantal yg chomel.
dah penat baru balik lepak pon, bile smpai je rumah , then i realise sebenarnye i x keluar pon tdi.
fikiran i still ade kat dlm blik, cume badan i je yg bergerak.
but still it doesnt work.
klau dunia terbalik pon, i still stick kt satu tmpat.
seriously, i have to do something.mcm mne yg org lain mampu buat, i pon bole buat.
but if i sendiri yg "gam" kan diri i as if, i bukan sebahagian dri org2 lain.
well,kite x hidup seorg diri dlm dunia ni, kite still have family, kawan2, and org2 lain yg akan kite bru knal and jumpe.
maybe betul ape yg org ckp, smpai bile kite nak tutup dunia kite,sedangkan kite kat dunia org lain.
kalau betul la ini bukan dunia i, i mungkin kne travel.
tpi kuat ke diri i nak travel dunia2 org lain.

i guess not.

utk org yg punye rupa, harta, pangkat, mampu utk travel dunia2 org lain.
tpi bukan i.
i dah cukup lemas nk lemaskan diri i dgn perasaan rendah diri, x mampu berlawan atau lemah.
tpi itulah i.
sayang, i selalu nampak org yg nampak diri i mcm tu.
but then i realise. kalau i bukan diri i yg sebenar, what would i be?

nak jadi mcm "u"?

nak jadi mcm "kau"?

nak jadi mcm "awak"?

nak jadi mcm "dia"?

nak jadi mcm "siape"?

memang la die sempurna, cantek, loving,lembut, sopan santun.
klau i?
hhhaa, kan i ckp i bukan dalam dunia i now.

W.t.F.

TRULY:

S- SILLY

H- HORRIBLE.

A- AWFUL

S- SILLY

H- HORRIBLE.

A- AWFUL.

(sara asyuka, teman mama kejap...)

when it gets tough gotta fight some more.

2010-05-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

Too much of anything can make you sick,
Even the good can be a curse.
Makes it hard to know which road to go down .
Knowing too much can get you hurt Is it better? Is it worse? Are we sitting in reverse? It's just like we're going backwards I know where I want this to go.
Driving fast but let's go slow .What I don't wanna do is crash, no Just know that you're not in this thing alone .
There's always a place in me you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start
Anything that's worth having Is sure enough worth fighting for Quitting's out of the question When it gets tough gotta fight some more '
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for
Now every day ain't gon' be no picnic Love ain't a walk in the park All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark
Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start
Anything that's worth having Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more
I don't know where we're heading
I'm willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast we just need to slow down and just roll
Anything that's worth having Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more

fight for this love by cheryl cole.

its not dat easy.

2010-04-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

if i tau jln cerita hidup ni, maybe i x perlu susah payah tnggu sesuatu.

i know mungkin cerita hidup i x lah semudah cerita hidup org lain.

tapi menunggu tu menyakitkan kan?

i miss him so much.

i just dont know die kat mane, mcm mne keadaan die, sehat ke x.

all i can do is, brdoa utk die .

fullstop.

i cant stand it, i'm missing him mcm nk mampus,gile, mampus,gile,mampus.

with heart:

syasya hafiz.

yummy2 :)

2010-03-28T01:03:00.000-07:00

well, this video is enough to narrate a story.
this was recorded by lil sis, keem.
and this was staring by syasya,hafiz and cute lil unknown girl named sarra yg lari2 kt situ :) chomel jeh.
and plz dont get distracted dgn background music, coz ade one group tgh karaoke which then i found that this video seems like our cool music video :)
and plz catch up the minute 1.42 tu 1.45, dgr bdak kcik name sarra tu nyanyi lgu yg dieorg karaoke tu. chomel jeh :)

with loved:

syasya syazwany to eric hafiz.

lets dont wait till the water runs dry.

2010-03-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

We dont even talk anymore
And we dont even know what we argue about
Dont even say I love you no more
cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
Some people will work things out
And some just dont know how to change

Lets dont wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Lets dont wait till the water runs dry
We will make the biggest mistake of our lives
Dont do it baby.

Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe thats a pain we cant hide
cause everybody knows that were both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away?

a person who always loves u.

when we really need it.

2010-03-07T02:02:00.000-08:00

have u ever been really hungry?
hunger to evrything?
foods,loves,sympathy,laughs,joys.

i really hungry.
but all i got just tears to eat.

i wish there will be many types of foods here accompany me while i'm enjoying my tears.

and what really hungry mean to u?
guess it.

enough.
syasya syazwany.

so so wonderland.

2010-03-06T22:51:00.000-08:00

sperti biase, evry weekend i akn balek utk bawa baju2 yg malas dibasuh di uitm shah alm. dis week my mum quite geram, and ckp "oh my, klau mcm ni bawak je katil uitm kt rumah, coz xde difference pon". ahha, tpi ni larh yg mmbkar smgt i utk mmbasuh baju kt uitm shah alam, but still i akn muncul kt rumah every weekend so that i boleh proud dgn my mom, yg i x balek bawak plastik baju kotor.heee :)

but this week, i balek dgn public transpot. eventhough it was a long journey but yet memorable.
i prlu duduk kat setesen ktm padang jawa, shah alam about 15 to 20 minutes utk tnggu da komuter smpai. maklumlah die x laju mcm kete ayah i or kete bf i. haha.
but one thing yg mnyeramkan kt situ ,sunyi. Dan pekerja2 foreigners kat situ (i will not call them pekerja2 indon) biar dieorg irritated ckit dgn panggilan tu. dieorg scary, seriusly. nampak je ade kereta masuk dan mnurunkan penumpang kt citu, they will like menjerit "pheewit, dari mana, oit, (and mcm nyanyi2 lagu kbangsaan dieorg maybe)". ahah, klau nk lagi specific , dieorg siap sbut lagi warna baju kite kay.

tapi perjalanan dlm ktm tu x lah memboringkan. disbabkan i facing cermin yg mnghadap2 pmndangan kt luar, smbil dgr lagu, it was a melodious journey. hahha. naseb baik,dpn i semuanye prmpuan, so i got no problem facing dieorg rather than facing mamat2 pekerja foreigners tadi tu. nanti terus jadi "journey with indonesians workers". hhe, no offence ye P.F.
(Pekerja Foreigners). haha again, enough syasya.

sampai je K.L sentral, hav to jalan ckit to stesen LRT plak. beli tiket cepat2,, trus naek escalator and que up mcm org2 balek keje. Putra Lrt quite different dari KTM. For sure, in the evening, there will be no enough seat for us yg kcik2 ni. but not for me! wlaupon i diantara yg last2 skali masuk, i try to jalan2 kt dlm until i found one seat. brsyukur , no need to berdiri. however, bile dah smpai kt stesen Ampang Park,if i'm not mistaken, ade one uncle yg brdiri dpn i. he's not too old, and he was carrying his bag as if he just got back from work. so i trpkir if die dah tua sgt, he wont have to work and pkai smart2 mcm gini. but bile i tgk he hold the tiang and mcm x berape kuat nk bertahan, i trus bgn and ckp "erm uncle, duduk la.stesen saye da nk smpai pon". and dat uncle snyum and trus say "oh thank u". wow, speaking. okey2. :)

i bgn and tried to get away a lil bit far from dat uncle. or at least, i can dissapear from his view. tapi disebabkan rmai org, i cant get away from dat line. dah la, i tipu die kate stesen nk smpai. sbnanrye, ade 5 stesen lagi to go babe. and he was noticing me didnt get out from da stesen smpai la stesen wangsamaju. and guess what die turun one station before wangsamaju. ahah, i malu.

wlaupon the journey took 2 hours for me utk smpai, but it was ended up dgn lovely arrival.:)
thank u for someone special yg pick me up and gave me a present sum more.
and yesterday we went for Alice In Wonderland movie. It was fantastic movie, suits with the title itself. Trust me, u wont regret for watching it, plus if u tgk da 3d version. i was like, heaven yeah! cantek sgt the combinations of colours, all the beautiful creatures, and the cartoon2 sume. x mahal pon if tgk da 3d version, only for rm36 for 2 prsons.

wlaupon a day bfore dat, ade Constitution test, seriusly takut dgn markah yg akn diberikan. dlm wayang, dah trbayang muke madam kt dlm one scene in da movie tue, smbil buat muka garang pgang i pnye answer paper. argh, die pon skali ade dlm 3d tu.. :) cantek je...
okey enough.

tapi alice die cute wlaupon x secantik dlm cartoon. and i love the "fat boys".hhaa, seriusly dieorg chumel.

yeah so called wonderland, i pon nk jugak. syasya in eric hafiz's wonderland.
hhe, thank u bie for Nando's and the movie.
klau ade rezeki, i want more!

okey,wonderland dah habes. now get back to ur study!
amaran keras.

lovely:
Sara Ashuka and Syasya Syazwany.

he's mine, not yours hey young lady :)

2010-02-19T18:58:00.000-08:00

what do you understand about mutual? Mutual is used to describe as reciprocal relationship between two or more people or things. But many people also use mutual to mean "shared in common".

get things straight, i wnna talk about relationship. having relationship with someone not simply describing it as "couple".
and what do you understand about couple? simply said, joins or links two things together or a bond or tie.

so are u describing people as couple when u see them holding hand each other? because having said couple means joins,links,bond or tie, which here means they are joining their hands together. think about it.

so are u describing people as married when u see them sharing something together,or oftenly have something in common, sharing the same bed, sharing the same account bank, just because having said, married couple usually shared in common, as described in the meaning of mutual.

so are they married or couple?

however, what do you understand about marry?

marry is to combine and blend agreeably.

does it means, when u having relationship with someone , and u pleasing to ur loved one's liking agreeably, would you considered as married couple?

but yet, are u a married couple?

and what do you understand about LOVE?

it will be the , tenderness, fondness, predilection, warmth, passion and adoration. Besides it is a deep and enduring emotional regard, profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Plus, it is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection and affectionate concern for the well-being of others, in consideration of for the sake of someone, to have a strong liking for take great pleasure in something together, strong predilection, enthusiasm or liking for anything, a personification of sexual affection, to like or desire enthusiastically, to have an intense emotional attachment or to experience deep affection or intense desire for another.

the title and status doesnt bring matter, as long as
u are in love my dear..
that how i describe it when i first fall in love.
"i think i love you.... :) "

letter for eric hafiz.
i love u bie...

(i'm sick of those bitches whoever wanted to ruin me.back off!)

pejam or bukak mate.

2010-02-06T00:35:00.000-08:00

maybe, from now onwards, i'll keep updating my entry oftenly. i decided not to take all risks in letting my pain go or out, by telling other people,hurting my self,crying whole night and what not. i think by wording of it,could be even better for me. hav u ever think about to live without someone that you really used to depend on him or her? i guess not. because when our loved one,standing in front of us, we dont even want to realise that he's standing in front of u. to simplify it is that, we wont talking, not touching, not looking, not realising. but what if, u do realise dat now he will be not with u,or not to be infront of u, even not to be beside of u? hav u ever think about dat?

just about 30 minutes ago, i arrived at my home. my mum driving alone all the way to shah alam to pick me up just because she so worried bout me. i guess, going back to my home would give me a better time to heal the pain and without giving any thought that i would end up now in my room, typing dis entry and crying.

my mom took me for lunch at kedai nasi campur somewhere in sksyen 7, nearest to the uitm.
oh god, it is just a first day for me to get through all this things, could u give me a strength at least? again, there are few things that makes me,miss him so much......

this is the jambatan, that he used to call it "jambatan pulau pinang"
it reminds me on sending him to tmpt keje die in kelana jaya and sending me to UitM.

yeah i had a lunch....

with my lovely mum, but....

somehow, i really miss to hav lunch with him because....

this is the same place that we had lunch together past 3 weeks...

but where's him?
:(

we r easy to forgive..but not easy to forget..

to loved:
eric hafiz....

pejam or bukak mata.

2010-02-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

"hye whts ur name?"
"i'm syasya"
"u wanna drink?"
"oh nope..its okey"
"owh its okey, i bring u coke kay..,yeah sure its coke :)"
"thank u..."
"u dgn spe?"
"dgn my frens and kakak angkt i.."
"owh u still study or keje?"
"i'm still studying, asasi undang2 kt uitm kedah"
"owh.. i uitm jgk, tpi kat perak , major in photography.."
"owh i see.."
"erm u tau x kat mane bole smoke?can u bring me"
"yeah...sure.."
"thanks,can we go now..?"
"yup.."
"can i hold u until kite keluar..?"
(i'm just smiling)

(messaging)
"hey u..dis is my nummber,if sempat sblm i balek uitm kedah ptg ni, can we go for lunch..?reply me k..."
(2 hours later)
"hey..i'm sorry.i just bgn..lunch?sure, where r u now?"
"hye..i da otw balek kedah..its okey, next time kite pgi k.."
"i'mm sorryy..i just too tired last nite.."

(2 hours later)
"hye u..i just bought celcom number..x lah mhl sgt nk mesej dgn u..

(at night)
"hye... u da dinner? make sure u da mkn..if bole, mlm nnti i nk call u, nk dgr suara u..can i?"

(the next days...)
"i miss u.."
"i miss u.."
"i miss u...."
"i wanna go back to kl, to meet u.."

(the next week)
"i think i love u....."
(i was just smiling and smiling and smiling)

(the next month)
"bie..i love u so much.."
"syg.. i love u too.."

(the next 2 months)
"bie..why i cant reach u..?plz call me, i need u so much.."
"syg..sorry, hp bttry x ade..sorry sgt.."
"its okey...i'll always waiting.."

(the next week)
"i just wanna go back...plz send me.."
"syg..i'm sorryy..i'll explain to u..."

(the next week)
"i just knew it already..i wanna break up with u.."
"plz i just need u, i want u..."

(the next week)
"i'll always forgive u..coz i just love u so much..."
"thanks...we make it all over again k..."

(the next 2 months)
"bie...happy 4 months..."
"thank u syg and happy birthday...hope we can stick together..u r my dream girl.."

(the next 2 month)
"bie happy 6 months..and happy birthday.... :)"
"thank u syg...thanks for the surprise party.."

(the next month)
"i just so confused.. u r not believing me..."
"what do u mean ?"

(today)
"i was wrong..u lie to me. i'll give u chance. u r not my dream girl.."
"i knew it already... i know my self well..."
"we r over.."
"last favour...can u call me syg for the last time..."
"i just cant..."
"please..."
"okey syg, forgive me..."
(i was just crying same when u told me "i think i love u")
"maybe its too soon to say..but happy valentine day,and happy 8 months"
"yeah.."
"thank u so much....,can u hang up first?i'm just not strong enough to end dis call"
"i'll hang up, bye"
(i break down and cry until dis time without u to comfort me as usual..)

plz lend me ur shoulder to me ,for reminding me of all our memories stated in dis "theordinarysyasya.blogspot.com"

doesnt mean anything.

2010-02-03T16:50:00.000-08:00

Used to dream of being a millionaire, without a care ..But if I’m seeing my dreams, and you aren’t there’cause it’s over that just wont be fair darling,rather be a poor woman living on the street,no food to eat,cause i don't want no body if i have to cry.cause it's over when you said goodbye!all at once...i had it all but it doesn’t mean anything now that you’re gone from above seems i had it all but it doesn’t mean anything since you’re gone..

it doesn’t mean anything now that you’re gone from above seems i had it all, but it doesn’t mean anything since you’re gone ..now i see myself through different eyes,it's no surprise,being alone will make you realize when it's over..all in love is fair I shouldnt been there, I shouldnt been there, I shouldnt ,shouldnt.

I know I pushed you away .What can I do that would save our love..Take these material things..They don’t mean nothing..Its you that I want ,All at once...I had it all..But it doesn’t mean anything..Now that you’re gone..From above,Seems I had it all..But it doesn’t mean anything..Since you’re gone

taken from Alicia Keys song.

i'm gonna hold to the times that we had.

2010-02-03T08:25:00.000-08:00

today, i come across few things dat made some reminding of him. as usual, slalunye bile dlm bus i akn amek earphone and sumbatkn dlm telinge just bcauz to avoid from any kind of distractions. obviously, when people see u in that way,syok listening to music, they wont bother u,not even pure2 nk tanye jalan ke, nk tanye nk pgi mne ke ape ke. but its not that point la, it's just i want to "cheer" kan feeling ckit otw to class.
however, today few things happened "tibe-tibe". mcm tdi, bile otw to class, i listened to the music and suddenly one song keep repeating over and over again. maybe it sounds weird, tpi tu la realiti. i x kesah if lagU tu, nothing to do with me, tpi lagu tu la yg buatkn i ingt kat die. ahah, maybe kantoi kat sini sebab syasya dgr lagu samsons dlm bus weh! tapi lagu samson, satu tu je la yg ade dlm phone i. bkn ape, lgu tu ade meaning or something behind la.
usually, hp i bile setiap kli nk dgr lagu, i hav to open from the beginning, which is i hav to open the music file and slalunye it will start from the first one. it wont take randomly or if i pause pon, die x kan skip ke lagu yg ke 3, 4 ,5 ke.. but when i open it even more than twice, die akn start dgn lagu "samson" tu tdi. ye korunk bole ejek i skrg sbb lagu tu skrg. tpi xkn i nk kene menangis dlm bus kan plak.

second plak, bile i pgi kedai koperasi kat kolej mawar ni. tadi pkul 11.30 i dgn my classmate,kak qie went for lunch. after balek dri mkn tu, kiteorg singgah kedai tu utk bli paper. then i terase dahaga trus pgi tgk kt fridge tu air ape yg ade. usually, x kesah la i pegi kedai tu berape byk kali pon, bile i cari dis type of air "FROST" (root beer) msti xde. i ingt lagi last time, 3 kali i tnye kakak kedai tu,whether ade ke x air tu, kakak tu msti akan ckp dah habes or mmg xde. again, i xkesah if air tu xde kne mngene dgn air, but that drink is our favourite can drink la. we used to drink it, xkesah la kt mane2 pon, msti pnye.

and during in contract tutorial class, madam tu cakap something yg i sndri rindu utk dgr hafiz ckp. she said something that hafiz used to say it, when i'm down or dlm situation ape2 pon. "everything gonna be fine.."
but i know, somehow it couldnt be so real when we r far away. plus, we r not doing really fine now. :(

and da last one, bile i tnggu bus utk balek ke kolej, there was a couple behind me, talking,laughing, bla bla..then her bf said "sayang..." and kuat plak tu. i have no doubt to turn back as if mcm i plak nk menyaut ckp "ye..." . bkn ape, i havent heard that word since we r not talking or even messaging in da phone.

by now, i shouldnt crying dis way.
FULLSTOP.

i failed

2010-01-31T02:06:00.000-08:00

kalau i diberi peluang, mungkin i akn kembali semula di mane tempat i berjumpe dgn die.
mungkin i akan berikan semula kasih sayang yg selame ni yg i bagi. untuk padam semula api kemarahan bukan dgn air mata. x cukup lagi untuk membetulkan keadaan yg x betul dgn hanye menangis.
mungkin i x ramai kawan2 yg boleh beri 100% bantuan, di saat i perlukan semua tu, tapi kalau kite still percaye masih ade org yg sudi utk mndengar keluhan dan kesedihan kite,mungkin i tidak lah sejatuh ini.
mungkin i silap tafsirkan sesuatu yg datang dlm hidup i. mungkin juge i dah gagal sekali lagi untuk membuka lembaran baru di dunia yg baru. mungkin i silap sebab x pernah menghargai sesuatu yg tuhan telah berikan. ibarat, bile dah turunnye bahagia, i masih letakkan diri ni dalam kesedihan.
tapi bukan salah sesiape utk jadinye sesuatu yg mcm ni.
kadang2 tulisan yg i tulis, x berunsur yg terus terang. mungkin ade masih sdikit 1 atau 2 perkataan yg i cube selindungkan.
biar die kelihatan atau berbunyi sinis atau sindiran utk diri sendiri, aslkan i tau di mane asal usulnye diri ni.
mungkin masih ade lagi, matahari pada hari esok dan bulan pd malam ni.
mungkin ade juge diri nye masih brdiri di depan mate,bila i buka mata pada hari esoknye.
tapi mungkin kah, mungkin tu terjadi??

i gagal.

a letter to you. :)

2010-01-12T04:48:00.001-08:00

happy 7 months.

not every single thing,that we wish to have is likely to come. and it is not as easy as we always want. i wish, i could turn back time, to the time that i used to smile for in everything i do. despite having more happiness than tears, i also wish to get a love that i always dream for.
luckily, the love is now staying with me wherever i go, whenever i think of and will always be.
even now i cant see the love physically, but i can feel it until the end of the time. even somehow,the god will say, i will not be having you or this love for the rest of my life, i still can feel it as i always did when i reached this far from you.

over past few months, you have been staying with me .fulfill all the needs that i want, even shed my tears as girl always want, and made my life even better now.
you could not see how much this deep tears that i cried, how hard that i lose my wink of sleep, how tough that i could resist all the bad things and how i let my self to be part of yours.
i could even feel the worse when the night has come to face the bad part ever, to lay down on my bed and just lay to miss you.
but i wish you should have known by now when i split the word that make you smile. "i love you".

with love:
syasya syazwany
to love:
eric hafiz.

do we have to?

2010-01-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

kadang2 i trpakse lelahkan diri utk mnagis bile stiap kli buat stu mistake. maybe in the first place , i ade rase sdikit ego seolah2 tak nak admit lngsung ape yg i buat. tpi bile ade someone yg slalu disisi,tgur every single of my mistake, ego tu makin lame mkin xde dlm fkiran i. yg i tau, stiap kli ade sthing yg x kene i buat, cpat2 trlintas utk ckp sorry x kire pde famili mmbers, kwn2, ataopon spe2. ini bkan lagi zaman kanak2 i , utk brgaduh atau brtikam lidah seolah2 semua yg i lakukan betul and benar2 belaka :)
perluke kite kurangkan rase ego and tnggi diri ni?
the answer is yes! there's no need for me utk cermin dri setiap pgi and cube mmberi spirit dgn brkate "yes,you are so damn super cool girl".
tpi kdg2 kite sndri yg silap tafsir melalui ayat tu. cube kalau cermin tu boleh jawab ataupon brcakap ataupon beri komen ape2 psl dri kite dgn jujurnye,secara teknikal , i rse kite semua akan break down and cry dlm blik sbb x boleh terime ape yg cermin tu bgitau.
ape prbezaan cermin dan manusia???
manusia maybe boleh beri komen ataupon pujian tntang dri kite sbb manusia ade hati dan perasaan yg nak jage hati kite.
kalau cermin tu boleh bercakap tanpa ade hati dan perasaan, pedulikah die nak komen yg buruk2 pasal kite. sbb the fact is, itulah kite sume apabile brdiri dpn cermin tetapi keadaan akn brbeza bile kite brdiri dpn manusia.

pokok pangkalnye, kite semua mstilah tau ability ataupon rupe paras kite bile di depan cermin, so x payah la, kite fake apabile di depan manusia.
when u are about to berlagak or show off ability msing2, prgila crmin dri dlu, and ukur whether ability korang sume setimpal dgn dri anda ktike brade di dpn crmin.

i sedih dgn sikap manusia yg slalu rase kn dri die hebat dan cube mnjtuhkan org lain. kite semua tau dgn extraordinary power yg kite ade dlm dri msing2. dan bgi i, my extra ordinary power is
i can cry through the nights for blaming my self. dah x ade lgi rase ego dlm dri utk tnjuk khebatan dri. the reason i jdi cm ni, sebab i mimpi cermin besar yg hebat ckp mcm ni -
"KAU PERGILAH CERMIN DIRI KAU TU DULU"

FULLSTOP.

WITH HEART:
SYASYA SYAZWANY.

perasaan ape ni?

2009-12-29T23:03:00.000-08:00

hari pertama semuanye brtambah baik ketika mendaftar dgree di uitm shah alm. i dah bayangkan suasana yg sibuk and org2 yg ramai beratur, plus sesak di hari pertama ketike mendaftar. tpi sememangnye kontra dari ape yg dibayangkan. xde la rmai sgt org, boleh dikataken 70% orang2 yg mndaftar semuanye i kenal. ketike mendftar semuanye dijalankan dgn cpt and brgaya, haha. sekejap je proses die, even kad pelajar uitm pon dapat time tu jgak.lepastu baru mndftar kolej. alhamdulillah, x perlu la takut2 nk kenal dgn org2 baru di sekeliling. i risau and takut x boleh adapt dgn bende2 baru yg ada. tpi thank god, even roomate baru pon orang yg rapat dgn i dari semester 1 smpai smester 3 ketike buat asasi undang2 di uitm kedah.
bilik kali ni lebih luas dan best. and still i dapat floor bawah skali, kerana brjaya smpai ke uitm shah alm awal2 pagi so mndftar pon awal. okey yg i amaze sgt psl kolej mawar ni ialah tnggi sgt. smpaikan ade lift disediakan utk student2 yg dpt bilik atas. i tringin sbnarnye nk duduk tnggi2, ahah bole naik lift, buat gaya mcm duk apartment. :)

yg paling menakutkan ialah, fakulti undang2 dgn kolej i sgt lah jauh. maybe kne ready 1 jam awal utk ke kelas slepas ni. klau dlu kat uitm kedah, kelas pkul 8, pkul 7.50 pon boleh mandi siap2 dan boleh pergi ke kelas tanpa lambat pon tpi kli ni i rse memang x lah.
lepas da settle semua mendaftar, mama and baba trpkse balek awal sbb baba xdpt cuti dan perlu masuk ke office bfore lunch time. x sperti parents2 yg lain, yg boleh stay smpai tlg unpack barang2 ank dieorg and tlg pasangkan cadar katil skali. okeh i jeles! haha.

lepastu i dgn liya, unpack sume brg2 dan kemas tmpat tido masing2. perasaan time tu mmg x best,sdih gile bile tgk brg2 yg dibeli brsme boyfie. mulelah nk rewind balek time2 sdih nk pegi.
uitm shah alm dgn k.l bukan jauh kan, tpi kite sndri boleh rase sdih tu bile jauh skitpon.
tpi x smpai sejam mama and baba balek, ade suare2 yg mnggembirekan mengatakan program mms x de. erm okey mama and baba baru balek, okey fine i nak balek naik ape skrang!??hhaa..
tibe2 rse happy gile, mcm nk call sume sedare mare ckp mms xde and boleh balek.
nasib baik liya hntar i smpai lrt bangsar and hav to balek sndri smpai rumah.
aha, tpi i balek bukan dgn gmbire jgk la, coz sebelah kanan mata i dijangkiti dgn kuman ape tah and rse mata mcm nk trkeluar dah. rse pedih,panas, berair sume ckup. nk bukak mate pon susah. lepastu trus call boyfie kesayangan cpt2, mngadu mata saket and minx die amek then trus pergi klinik kerajaan amek ubat.

aha, gmbire je rase now coz dah mndftar secara sah dgree law uitm shah alm, and still boleh goyang2 kaki tgk tv di rumah. ape2 pon masih berat nk tinggal kan rumah skali lgi hari sbtu ni coz maybe akn rndukan org2 yg disayangi especially hafiz.
tpi harap2 mate yg sepet dan trbonjol besar di atas ni boleh baik cepat2 sblm masuk belajar dan mule kelas.
i amek oppurtinity ni nk ucapkan happy new year utk semue kwn2 yg brjaye ke dgree x kesah ke uitm mane pon. harap2 korang gmbire and brsyukur kt mane pon korunk ditmpatkn.
utk i, i prlu berehat scukupnye utk pulihkan mate ni sbb malu nk kuar jmpe boyfie dgn mate mcm ni. hhu:)

p/s: i lov u hafiz.
with love:
syasya syazwany.

it wasn't me.

2009-12-14T03:14:00.000-08:00

"happy birthday and 6 months to you"
i'm sorry.

bru keluarkn frame yg murah tu sbgai present. huhu, sorry x cantek frame tu and if x bgi ape2 meaning:(

okey i miss him so much, tdi last die suap i kt hospital while tnggu mama trun kt kafeteria:)

mama chumel!

my younger sister, keem and bie.

mama and hafiz. my 2 beloved person.

thank god,sume preparation berjalan dgn best. dri hari pertama, i buat utk small surprise party utk die and finally brjaya.thank u to his frens yg willing to co-corperate dgn i for his small birthday party. dari pkul 1 tghri ,i went out with my younger sister to buy the cake and searched for the suitable place for that sweet nite. i called one of my frens who used to work at t.g.v and asked her whether she can get 2 tickets as one of my present. unfortunately, she wasn't in k.l and i had cancelled to watch a movie. later, we went to jaya jusco to find the best present for him and i decided to giv him a frame with our pictures on it. and wrote small notes behind the frame in hoping he will read it and bring it whenever he far away from me. maybe the present was not so expensive but it would be memorable,perhaps. thank god evrything went smoothly,together with the surprise party and few freinds came over at that nite. he cried when i was singing the birthday's song for him and while he's reading the note and holding the frame. :(

the next day, masih lagi dlm susanana birthday, i masakkan mkanan fav die, curry ayam.thank god, evrything sume smoothly and okey. x smpat nk tngkap gmbr sbb sume org mcm trdiam bile dinner,tau2 je curry ayam dah cket. bukan sng dpt masak utk die, kdang2 mmg da jnji, tpi dri sndri yg lupe. bile teringat, kesian die, msti tnggu bile i nk masakkan mcm bru2 knl kt previous entry 6 months back. so,alhmdulillah i tebus balek dosa2 i yg janji nk masakkan tpi x buat2 sbgai one of my present for him.

eh jap2, present x habes lgi. the next day lepas birthday die which is on 12.11.09, i,mama,adek2 and die prgi karaoke,jln2 and mkn. actually, i da planned dgn mama utk smbut birthday die dgn my family dkt luar. so mama and adek2 brjya mnyimpan rhsia utk mnjayakan plan trsbut. thanks to u guys.

again, sumenyer brjalan dgn smoothly. sume org happy sgt time tu. i , die and adek2 smpat maen teka-teki,cerite2 hantu and main game smbung2 ayat, di kdai mamak,while we were having breakfast, smbil tnggu mama mngambil pasport die yg bru siap di pusat bandar, damansara.
time karaoke plak, sume smpat utk mnunjukkan kebolehan masing2 utk menyanyi and sume smpat berduet dgn artis pilihan masing2. mama and die, mama and i, adek2 i( keem and aiman), and keem and i and i dgn bf trsyg,si die. :)

lepas seharian kiteorg together, sume pnat, tpi happy. especially me coz sume surprises yg i plan , finally brjaya.

eh jap jap, tpi cerite x habes lgi. selepas birthday die on 11.12.09 now its time for clebration utk our 6 moths. mungkin bgi korang pelik, npe nk kne clebrate2 tiap2 bulan. erm i x tau the exact answer, tpi i buat sbb i nk ingat tarikh bilenyer brmule our story.

tpi clebration die mcm biase aje, kiteorg having meal dkt mcd,ampang park together at 12 midnite on 13.12.09.

erm tpi hari ni, on 14.12.09, sumenyer mcm ade yg x kene. pagi2 lagi, mama dpt call , baba i accident ketike die on the way nk pgi tmpat kje kat damansara. sumeorg da kelam kabut and i mcm trus moody and rse nk mrh je sbb trlalu risau if ade ppe brlaku kt baba i. alhmdulillah die xde ppe, cume bdan die penuh dgn luka2 panjang and dalam. ouch i x dptkn betape sakit nye.

tayar moto depan die pecah, and die off balance, lnggar divider and kepala die trhantuk dkat divider. lets imagine, baba i bawak mtor selaju yg boleh dkt highway and tgh trun bukit ,then time tu tayar motor die pecah. baba i ckp, die nk rush coz takut lmbt kt tmpat kje. i sgt la mrh sbb slalu x bgi die bwk kereta viva, bile die kate nk pinjam bwk pgi tmmpt kje. okey, i rse srba slh sgt and mrh sgt dgn dri sndri.what if ade ppe jdi,maybe i x kan ade ayah lgi. :( dari smlm i da xde mood and decide utk diamkan diri coz mcm x sdap hti yg today 14 mcm ade bad luck je.

i , mama and my hafiz prgi ke hospital sg buloh utk amek baba i dkt sne.

thank god, die xade ape2. tpi seriusly i kesian tgk muke baba i yg tahan saket bile kiteorg smpai dgn seluar die trkoyak besar dkt bhgian bawah and all the luka kt leher, tgn,kaki sume. :(

and cerita sdih x hbes lgi kat situ, then i ade slisih faham cket dgn my hafez smpailah ade sthing yg jadi. yg tu i x dpt nk explain lgi further sbb x mubngkin i bole tuliskan kt cnie sesuatu yg i x ingin trjadi, and tpi da pon trjdi.

ape yg i nk sumarize kn, kite x dpt nk expect ape2 pon yg akn trjdi in the future. tpi slagi kite boleh prevent bfore die trjdi and buat sehabes mngkin, insyaallah x kn jadi sume tu.mcm yg i dah plan 0n 11.12.09, bufdy hafiz and and on 12.12.09, clebarate dgn my fammily, and 13.12.09, clebrate our 6 months tpi i x plan mcm jdi hari ni 0n 14.11.09. ape2 pon, i nk ckp sorry to baba sbb selalu kedekut nk bgi die pinjam viva when he really need it. i slalu selfish rite.i'm sorry.

and pling penting skali sorry to my dear hafiz, sbb selepas kite happy 3-4 hri ni, tpi i msti end up bnde tu dgn marah, sedih, benci sume. i tau i useless rite.i jnji to my self i akn rndukan die utk hari2 strusnye. rindukan die mcm mne i slalu rndukan die. i'm so sorry. now i know it wasnt me.

i cube utk brhnti mnagis ketika menulis entry ni, tgn i x mampu nk susunkn ayat2 utk buat i sndri trsnyum. i dpt rsekn mcm something yg lgi truk akn himpap dri i , mcm ade batu besar jatuh ats i smpai i mati. i just dunt know kat spe i nk turn to. bile i tgk balek pic2 ni, i know there is still ade sweet memory between us.

i always pray yg baek2 utk bie.. i'm sorry if x prnah buat yg trbaik utk bie..

i'm sorry..........

i miss u............

with love:

sara asyuka & syasya syazwany.

rahsia tetap rahsia.

2009-12-02T02:18:00.000-08:00

sudah bberapa hari i x singgah untuk menulis. menulis sesuatu yg i tulis di hati and hanye beberape je yg boleh dicatatkan disini. memang betul ckp mama, x semua bnde or perkara kite boleh cerita dgn orang. kadang2 kite sendiri trlupe bahawa bnde itu adalah satu rahsia yg patut disimpan kite sndiri ataupon sesuatu yg kite boleh kongsi dgn org2 yg kite sayangi.
i teringat mase i umur 12 tahun, and buat pertama kalinye i datang bulan dan perasaan i time tu mcm org yg baru dapat kereta kancil ketika berumur 12 tahun.hhu. perasaan i time tu sangat lah happy macam i bru saje dilahirkan semula.
and i teringin sgt nk baggitau semue org ape yg trjdi dkt i time tu. sume classmate prempuan i tau psl bnde tu. and smpailah ketika dinner dkat rumah mlm tu, rumah i dikunjungi beberapa kawan mama and baba utk mkn bersame. ketika makan, dgn tidak rase malu dan segan i bgitau dkt sume org trmasuklah 3 org tetamu mama tu. and mama mmmbuat signal seolah2 marah tapi mulut die mcm nk senyum 30 sen cm tu.hahha;)
and dieorg hanye trgelak kan i time tu ,maybe dieorg paham kot ape yg i rase.
sampailah i besar, i x kire dgn sape i berkawan , mmg diakui i cepat berkongsi and bercerita dgn kawan2 baik i.
kadang2 mungkin ape yg i cerite x seperti ape yg dieorg paham. tapi cukuplah sekadar bercerite kisah2 silam and bole buat i rase kurang beban yg i tanggung selame ni.
macam blog ni jgak, i bukan cerite sume rahsia2 i selame ni, tapi cukuplah sekadar i tulis untuk kongsi dgn pembace2 sume.
tapi, i x tulis semua ape yg i patut rahsiakan. as i wrote earlier, i hanye menulis ape yg trtulis di hati tapi bukan semue boleh dicatatkn disini.
sekarang i rase kan sesutu yg baru sedang menanti and membesar.
itu adalah rahsia yg paling cukup i sayangi buat mase ini.
bukan semudah itu i boleh lafazkan and tuliskan di sini.
mcm mama kate, x semua bende kite boleh bercerite dan kongsi.
orang selalu cakap rahsia bukan lah satu bende yg realiti. ia mungkin boleh jadi mitos ataupon fantasi.
tapi ape yg i simpan sebagai rahsia,adalah satu bende yg akan mnjadi realiti and akan mngubah semua persepsi orang terhadap i.
situation ini same mcm ketika i berumur 12 tahun tu, and still this rahsia i cannot simply spill it mcm i buat dulu waktu dinner. hhu:)
ia cukup membuatkan saye trsenyum jika saye sebut nye berulang kali.i berharap tuhan melaksanakan semua ini sebagai hikmah dan sebagai hamba nye akan menerima satu kehadiran baru yg akan memberi saye semangat.

tapi satu perkara yg tidak pernah mnjadi rahsia i lagi ialah "i really love hafiz" :)

with love:
syasya to sara asyuka.

dear god.

2009-11-23T05:19:00.000-08:00

berikan saye kekuatan dan kesabaran
untuk menempuh semua ni.
kuatkan hati utk tidak terus menangis ketika ini.

amin.

with heart:
sara asyuka @ nur syazwany shahdan.

please.... (episod 1)

2009-11-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

seandainya kau ada disini dengan ku
mungkin ku tak sendiri
bayanganmu yg selalu menemaniku
hiasi malam sepiku
kuingin bersama dirimu
ku tak akan pernah berpaling darimu
walau kini kau jauh dariku
kan slalu kunanti
karena kusayang kamu
hati ini selalu memanggil namamu
dengarlah melatiku
ku berjanji hanyalah untukmu cintaku
takkan pernah ada yg lain
adakah rindu di hatimus
eperti rindu yg kurasa
sanggupkah kuterus terlena
tanpamu di sisiku
kukan selalu menantimu

"always tnggu"

with heart:
syasya syazwany & sara asyuka.

surat utk terbaik.

2009-11-19T12:47:00.000-08:00

kan i dah ckp, if kain tu dah koyak, i nak jahitkan balek utk u. walaupon i x reti menjahit and mungkin terluke mase tgh mnjahit. tpi i tau , i akn bgi kain dgn jahitan yg paling softness eva utk u. u x perlu belikan i kain yg baru utk ganti balik kain tu. i x nak ubah ape2 pon dgn kain tu. i nk kain yg same, macam mane u bagi kat i dulu. i sndri koyakkan, i ganti balik dgn jahitan ni .
i merayu sgt kat u.

with heart:
nur syazwany shahdan
to
shahidul hafiz abd.rahman.

nampaknye.

2009-11-17T02:23:00.000-08:00

owh alhamdulillah hri ni bermule dgn senyuman. sebab pagi2 tadi adek i da buat kelakar.
die kejut i kt tepi telinge. "kakak,abg hafiz dtg rumah nk jumpe akak" lepastu dgr suara kt belakang gelak2 and i trus bgun dgn snyuman smbil ckp "owh ye ke :)".
walaupon i sdar itu hanyalah tipu belaka, dan x mungkin berlaku, i x mrh adek2 i la, (naseb baik hari jadi aiman smlm dek, klau x habes aiman kakak kerjekan.
lepstu die senyum2, perli i,ketawakan i sebab muke berseri trus bgun. selalu klau kejut, 700 kali panggil pon x mungkin i bgn. oh x mungkin,x mungkin. no no no:)
lepastu disebabkan i dah trbangun awl,adek i pon pakse utk i menjemput kawan2 die utk dtg ke rumah kiteorg. eh jap,org nak dtg umh, pastu kite kene amek eh???haha.xpe xpe, i suke je dpt rm10 extra isi minyak. x mintak byk pon. :)

semalam pon bermula dgn perfect jgk. hari jadi adek i, AIMAN 16.11.2009.
tahniah aiman, sbb dah mencecah 9 tahun. kakak ingatkan aiman x nak membesar sebab bile mandi pon nak kakak jgk amekkan towel. lpastu kalau ade org ketuk pintu rumah kite, kakak jgk yg kene bkak, sebab aiman pure2 tidur atas sofa and knon2 x dgr la. tapi klau dri segi saiz,kakak x marah kalau aiman x membesar sebab naseb baik kite spesis yg same. walaupon kecik tapi chumel. ahha,enaf syasya.
owh die ni mmg degil. aiman is my younger brother. i got another younger sister, which is Nurul Syakeem, or call her KEEM gedik. haaahha. die bru form 2 tpi bdn besar drpada i. i rse dari segi die makan, cara penguyahan die tu x betul sbb tu lah boleh membesar cepat. owh kalau die ni, i x kesah if die x membesar2 lagi, cukup la setakat ni.

yeah, disebabkan mama tercinta tiada di rumah, die berada di sepang, maka tiadalah smbutan hari jadi yg meriah di rumah seperti biase atapon letupan bunga api seperti org2 kaya mnyambut birthday. haha,letupan2 suara kami adalah kt rumah buat bsing main baleng bantal. ahaha, bukan main baling tepung ye,ubah ckit tradisi tu. dan tiade juge kek2 berbunga2 tahi ayam disediakan.
hahahhah:)

so mama lend me some money and ajak budak2 ni pergi main game dkt stu shopping complex yg paling megah di wangsamaju! ahha, yeah kite ke care4 ye adek2 ku sayang! hhooorrayy..
ahah, enaf la care4 je pon. iyyekk..
xpe la, as long as adek i trhibur di hari jadinye.
tapi time hari jadi die je la, x mungkin kite pergi ke care4 hari-hari ye adek2.
tapi mcm x best la plak, if xde org yg melengkapkan kehidupan i. so my hafiz pon pgi jgak, together2 dgn adek2 i.

ok dis is the best part la kan, sbb i rse mcm hari jadi i plak, i yg rase happy gile gile babi. lepastu i yg excited nk pgi main game x ingat mcm bdak2.
owh mmg la hari KEJADIAN i, sbb he really make my day! i lov u! muah pipi kanan,kiri,dahi ats,dahi bwh (dahi bawah?)hidung mancung tu,rambut,kening kanan,kening kiri and sume2 la. :)

buat julung pertama kalinye i kuar semule dgn die after one week die xde kt k.l.
xpe la, first day bru jumpe, pgi care4 pon ok kan kan kan. :)hahahaha/
walaupon x de kek, tpi kuar dgn dieorg sume mmg best mcm mkn kek dah.
nanti mama balek, kite celebrate sekali lgi ok. :)

wlaupon dah happy2 smlm, maybe lps ni dah susah.
sbb pkul 4 .30 tadi, kedengaran suara chinese girl chumel2 gitu kt telefon.
"hye my name is "$^%$#@!@@*&^" , (i x dgr name die, ckp laju sgt). i'm calling from f.c.u.k klcc. i'm glad to tell u dat, u hav called for interview tomorro morning at 10 oclok at pavilion
(eh jap2, u call i dari klcc knape plak i kne pagi pavi)-ckp dlm hti la.
ape2 pon, kite tnggu hari esk. wuaaaa, i x nk keje. :(
habes yg kau pandai2 pgi apply hri tu knape pendek?
heh yg tu jawab sndri k.

ok here are all the pictures ketike bersandi wara wari waru waro di sane.

owh ni die bufday boy. atau nick name nye- aiman kcik a.k.a kuat bersin.

jeng jeng jeng. ini hero saye. hafiz a.k.a sara a'shuka"s daddy.

ok ini versi saye ttup mate. mcm ne pule die?

ok his version. ok saye tau fringe tu mcm nak kene maki kan kan kan.

ok itu la adek2 kesayangan saye. keem and aiman, i lov u.
tpi kakak tetap love abg hafiz lbih.
hhe, enaf syasya.

hhe, bie mmg power main game. nmpak tu die yg ajar kiteorg. :)
sume game die reti main kan bie. hhhha (gelak jahat)

haha, siape sbnrnye yg nak main game ni? i mcm handal je pgang pistol.
pistol pon besar dan panjang dri i.
ok yg game ni, bie mng!
:)

"akak kaunter, akak kt mane??, kami dtg nk main game ni"
mcm x nk kje je.
grr

hhaha, paparazzi!

okey yg ini, tergamam tgk sampel2 hantaran yg cantek2 kt kdai ni.
hhe, tgk lame2 pon x pe bie. :)
sng nnti kite. hhu

ahhaa, dah dah la tu. aiman da mrh tu.
thanks to keem, our photographer x bertauliah.

ahahha, first time i letak pic yg mmg snyum mcm nk kne pukul.
i pon xtau i gemok ke, kurus ke, panjang ke, lebar ke, buncit ke.
tpi yg pnting i laen!
bnci.

haha, keem kayuh dgn semangat sampai x nmpk muke dah!.
takut lemas kot.

"kakak ,bole cepat tak."
"kejap2 cari abg hafiz ni"
hehehe

"kakak, aiman malu nk bagitau, tapi aiman syg kakak sebab suke bawak aiman jalan2 2 kali setahun!!"
hahaha, i love u bdak kcik.
happy birthday
blajar rajen2
and cpt tnggi k.
:)

with heart:
nur syazwany shahdan & sara ashuka.

tlg bace kejap:)

2009-11-16T14:11:00.000-08:00

manusia 1: awak minumlah air ni, saye buat khas utk awk.

manusia 2: awak tak letak racun dalam air ni macam awak buat dulu utk orang lain?

manusia 1: tak lah, saye dah x buat macam tu, sebab saye tau saye syg awk sorang sekarang ni.

manusia 2 : saye terima je air awak ni dgn ikhlas.

manusia 1 :kenape awak terima je? awk x nak minum?

manusia 2 : eh tak lah, saye minum air awak ni. tapi saye tak kan telan.

manusia 1 : kalau awak tak telan, awak buat ape?

manusia 2 : saye ludah balik.

manusia 1 : kenape awak ludah balik?

manusia 2 : sebab saye x nak mati macam mane awak bunuh org lain dgn air ni.

"kadang2 seikhlas mane kite buat yg terbaik, susah utk org terima jika kita pernah buat silap"

with heart:
sara ashuka.

maybe this is da way supposed to be.

2009-11-15T03:36:00.001-08:00

i dah penat untuk menangis untuk mencari kesilapan and kekurangan diri..
dah tibe masenye i kne buang sume perangai buruk yg boleh buat i jatuh satu hari nanti.
terima kasih tuk sume yg dah penah memarahi i, nasihat i dan juge yg tlah pukul i sebagai pengajaran.
mungkin sume tu ade hikmahnye dan i amek tu sbgai kekuatan and cube utk berdiri di kaki sendiri. mungkin sume tu juge mengajar i utk tidak bersikap pentingkan diri sndri, i dah belajar utk memahami diri org lain, and sabar.
seburuk2 i, i kuat lagi utk trsnyum walaupon dimarahi.
tapi sekuat2 i utk tersenyum pon, i ttap nangis jgk.
i insan biase.
macam mne korang mampu menagis bile dikasari atau disakiti, begitu jgk i.
i cube kurangkan ataupon buang terus sifat yg suke memaksa, mengarah dan mengongkong org.
and cube memaksa diri,mengarah dan mengongkong diri sndri utk brdiri and trsnyum mcm ni.
kadang2 kite kena sedar, org yg selau terima baik buruk kite, adalah diri kite sndri, bukan org lain.

jadi i x perlu berharap utk org lain terima i dgn sempurna,ataupon puji i melambung dgn perangai i yg buruk dan hodoh ni.
so i x perlu tanye pada dri sndri "kenape kau selalu kne marah syasya?"
biar i jawab. "sebab kau BODOH syasya"

i marahkan diri sendri bile setiap kali dimarahi.
enough syasya.

with heart:
sara ashuka.

boleh tak tlg padamkan suis "rindu" ni?

2009-11-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

mari nyanyi ramai2 smbil pejam mate :)

Shayne Ward - Breathless

If our love was a fairytale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we’d say I do
And if we had babies they would look like you
It’d be so beautiful if that came true
You don’t even know how very special you are
Chorus
You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me Breathless
And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made
And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don’t even know how very special you are
You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You’re something special I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you give me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life
You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
BreathlessBreathless

p/s: sruh la bf2 korang nyanyi lgu ni utk korunk. hhu
so, "bie...nyanyikan.."

with love:
nur syazwany & sara asyuka.

dis 13'th of November.

2009-11-12T04:44:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 5 MONTHS BIE.

ahah,dri pagi smpai ke mlm i diselubungi perasaan takut coz rmai yg ckp today, 12.11.2009 result kuar. however, dah brape ribu kali i msuk ke laman web uitm kedah,and click kt student portal smpai naek bosan,but still result x kuar. i rse mmg dah x terkire brape kali i tkn student's and ic number tpi die still x kuar2. sngguh geram terase hti ni. plus, i batuk2 mcm nenek tua yg tercekik daun sireh kt tekak, and slsema kt hidung ni mcm ready utk banjir at anytime. iyyekk.. ahha.
so ubat batuk peneman i, hanya minum 3 sudu, i bole tertido utk 10 jam seterusnye.
so,sesiape2 yg diluar sane mengalami kesukaran utk tido, jgn buat sprti i, no no no!

sebaliknye prgilah brgayut dgn bf masing2 di telefon or asked him utk nyanyikan lgu tido utk korang.
wlaupon hari ni didatangi dgn bermacam2 ujian,namun pasti akan dtg hari esok!.
yeah, 13.11.2009!
mungkin kli ni (pejam or bukak mate episod 4) xkn ade, coz saye xnk blog ini saye kne cerita kn kisah sedih saye je sepanjang ketiadaan die.
tpi kami juge ade kisah2 bahagia. memory yg buruk or baik tu mungkin akn dtg dan pergi. tpi almost 5 months,memory2 tu la yg byk mngajar i.
kli ni maybe lame kekasih hati i xde kt cni,hahaa. mcm mne lagi nk describe rse rndu ni sume.
and dis time pon agk sdih cket coz xdpt smbut dis 13.11.2009 together..
owh mmndangkn lptop i rosak, i x dpt nk amek pic2 die yg mnjadi favourite i selame ni. but still, ade pic2 die yg trtinggal dlm camera nikon die yg ade pde i. :)
and he's not in good condition too, die pon demam. tpi i harap dis entry would make him feel better.
actually, i've made a plan earlier utk masakkan die tomorrow as a present, but unfortunately,
he will not coming back until dis sunday. (to bie: dats y la hritu syg xde mood kt mcd, bile b bagitau yg bie kne stay kt sne smpai ahad)
however, i will masak jgk and mkn for him la. his favourite dish was my curry ayam!
wlaupon 5 months ni bgi org laen,mcm msih trlalu awl ataupon x tau pape, tpi for me, wht we hav been through together, mcm org dah knl 5 tahun.
owh sekarang i boleh akhiri kisah sedih i untuk hari ni, 12.11.2009 and mnanti hari esk yg bahagia, dis 13th November 2009! oh actually x lah bahagia sgt smpai la ade hafiz i kt bwh ni dpn mate i! emmuuahh.

owh okey mulut die:)

black suits him much:) coolness.

when he was 4,5,6? unknown:)hhe chumel kan!
"hello syg, where r u? bile nak balek??"

okey prtandingan muke chumel!
x tgk i pnye lagi.hahha

i missed his lovly drive:) hahha

owh can u see the "cawan" with two straws???
itu la kepunyaan kmi.
sharing is loving kan kan..hhu:)

owh die tgh mimpikan i.

"syg i miss u o much!"

haha, i tau dah!

i would rather close my eyes and open it till he's back and i know he will be in front of me, staring my eyes and touch dis heart.
i really miss u.

(actually inilah "pejam or bukak mate" episod ke 4) :)

with heart:
nur syazwany & sara ashuka

pejam or bukak mate (episod 3)

2009-11-06T01:09:00.000-08:00

hello hello:)
xtau kenape hari ni i mcm org yg betul2 mcm hilang family.
seharian kt rumah smpai ke malam, seorang diri, x makan, x minum, x bukak lmpu, x bukak tv, x bukak pintu bilik, x bukak kipas (eh tu tipu, i x suke pns:) and kurungkan diri dlm bilik smbil ditemani dgn hp dan lptop.
owh baru i perasan kenape, dah episod yg ke-3 da pon.
ahah, tpi knpe mkin worse?
xpe,selalunye cerite2 mcm ni msti happy ending. :)

owh i pon x tau knpe blog ini seolah2 hnye digunakan bile prsaan ni tgh "chaos". it mixed up, smpai kan i pon xtau whether entry2 yg i sumbangkn adlh berbaur sdih,hppy,mrh ke ,confused ke. erm, i had enough of hertache these days. eh tpi jgn slh sngke, i x kate saket hti tu sbb org buat i sdih ke ape ke, but it just me yg dgil utk paham dri sndri. i slalu blame my self, if i x dpt buat sumething. for sure, i rse org laen pon mcm tu.but sumetimes, i found dat org laen pon slahkan org laen bile die x dpt buat sumething. well, it depends on how will u accept it.
bile i dlm keadaan mcm ni, i mean "dlm dunia kegelapan" ni,mcm2 yg i nmpk. bile lonely mcm ni,mulelah nk bkak lgu sdih, and repeat over n over again smmpaikan bantal i bsh sbb ngis.
maybe or PASTI, i jdi mcm ni coz trlalu bimbangkan ape yg org lain kate psl dri i or PASTI i tau yg time tu i x diperlukan or dirindukan. omg,sumpah i takut, i rse mcmm i naek stu tangga tpi x smpai2 tpi mkin lame mkin tinggi.
ahah bile dlm blik glap mcm ni yg i nmpk?and ape ade dpn mate i ? tapi bile dah dpn mate, kite langsung x nak rse lepas. klau bole nk ikat kuat2, and peluk erat2 x nk bgi lari.
coz it hurts for me utk let it go wlaupon utk bberapa hari. coz i know, bile bnde tu dah x de dpn mate2 kite, mcm2 bole jdi, and maybe or PASTI, perasaan yg kite simpankan utk tu x same sprti bile die dpn mate.and yet, i still tgk jam berulang kli, nk tnggu utk ia berada di dpn mate, and i bole lupekan dunia yg x best ni for a while, and kmbali semula ceria.
plz take me where u belong to,which is in ur heart.

to hafiz: i always said, i hate to see u go because i hav to be in this "awful" situtation when u r not here and its hard for me to see u back because i hav to be in this "impatient" feeling to hold u.
so pendek kate, or i kate (sbb i pndek kan): RINDU ,RINDU ,RINDU! ahha.
okeh TAMAT .

pejam or bukak mate? (EPISOD 2)

2009-10-29T01:57:00.000-07:00

omg,today rse sgt worse sbb i asek bersin2 and slsema ni mmg kcau i dri mlm tdi nk tdo pon x bole. pagi2 lgi da bgn pgi stadium titiwangsa, ade event hari kanak2 smpena sekolah my mum. die jemput so i pgi je la, tgk bdak2 kcik cumel je. tibe2 rse mcm nk jdi bdak kcik. tepat pkul 10 cmtu, ade la prsembahan skit dari darjah satu, lpas dieorg dah trun stage, i cpat2 pgi la dpn stage nk tangkap gmbr one girl kcik ni. chumel sgt,rmbut krinting. dari tadi i tgk die dtg,dri pintu msuk, die tgh rehearsal smpai la die buat persembahan.haha, die lah pling cumel i rse dri yg laen. and nseb baik die prempuan, so i x rse plik sgt nk approach, haha mcm nk minx couple gitu. then mule lah sesi soal-menyoal dgn die.
"hye adek spe nme?" i buat2 suare chumel la, as usual cm mne nk ckp dgn budak2. :)heee
and die jwb
"my name is ashira bt aswad" haha, i trkjut sbb die terus speaking dgn i. malu la rase, kalau tau tdi lbih baik i tnye "what is ur name"hhaha.ade skit malu and geram skit. xkan i x notice muke budak2 kcik cm ni yg cm mat saleh ni msti la suke speaking kt rmh.haha
then i ckp la, "npe x letak name sara ashuka??, kakak suke sgt name tu,msti nnti die chumel mcm adek." hahaah, saje i buat die bengang.suke hti mak ayah die la nk letak name ape, yg i sbok2 nk bgi die name ape. tapi name ashira tu pon chumel jgk.
lepastu i ajk la die pgi dduk kt stu tmpat ni,smbil hold hand okey. sng je i ayt die trus dpt pgang tgn.ahaha.
lpastu amekkan die air sirap and karipap dua biji. and tibe2 i x sengaja, i terbersin dpn die smbil usik2 hidung i. and ashira tu trus ckp mcm ni.
"eh saye pon selsema, tadi mak dah bagi tisu tapi dah hilang." haha, i trus tegelak kt situ, coz i tau sbnarnye niat die nk bgi i tisu tpi sbb tisu die dah hilang dats y die ckp mcm tu.
"oh xpe. kakak x sehat, sorry takut berjangkit dgn ashira nnti demam plak."
pastu die senyum2 manje mcm hafiz i selalu buat. ahhaa, chumel sgt! rse mcm nk kiss2 je ppi kau ashira, nseb baik adek bukan die. hhe.
lepastu die lepak dgn i,jalan2 sume, tgk org maen game and makan je keje kiteorg. nmpak je ade makanan baru tukar kt buffet, kiteorg cepat2 amek and dduk mkn together2. :)
i pegang dahi i, mkin pnas. selsema mkin maju aktif dlm hidung i. dri tdi dok sok-sek je..
hhaha phm ke sok-sek tu pe?ok enaf.
and asek tgk hp byk2 kli, call org byk2 kli. bukan ape x sbr time tu nk jmpe org yg tersayang.
i wish he will be here with me,lepak dgn budak cute ashira ni and teman i bile saket cmni.
haha, poyo, bru x sehat skit dah minx mcam2.
mama asek tanye i nk balek dah ke, coz muke i yg sgt boring bile lil girl ashira tu dah balek.
then i ckp, "x nk la, lpasni nk trus pick up hafiz kt pudu". and terus tgk jam dah almost pkul 2.
and tibe2 i rse pning yg amat sgt, bru i tringat coz tdi i minum nescafe. asek lupe je x bole minum air tu. so now i really need to go back home and dptkan panadol dulu.

my mum dah risau tnye bole ke drive and i said, i can,eventhough sbnrnye i cant. hhee,tpi slow2 la and smpai pon rmh. x smpai hospital pon.hhaha.
and i tkar bju,cri selimut,bantal and landing dpn tv,mmg best coz kepala i dah berat. dari tadi tgk jam and handphone. nk tertido, tpi x lena takut x dgr bunyi org call and msj. kejap2 trjge, and tgk phone.untill now, wlaupon rse da mngantok sbb ubat tdi, but i still cant.
i just receieved phone call dari hafiz,he told me that ticket bus die lmbt coz kt station bus xde elektrik utk print ticket. so he probably smpai lewat. but i still can stand this pain, the pain for me utk tnggu die evryday. erm maybe die busy or x jmpe public phone utk call i , and maybe kwn yg slalu dgn die pon, x slalu dgn die lately. so its hard for me utk predict or tau ape2 pon psl die coz hafiz da x pkai phone.. but still, thanks to ashira wlaupon die x bce blog ni tpi teman i pgi tdi and she's so cute.
i x de number phone ashira. so maybe ssah la nk contact die psni, and i akn rindu die gile2 mcm mne i rindukan hafiz sbb dua2 x de phone. :(
okey la, nk type pon da x de energy, coz my head cam heavy gile nk focus. sbnrnye ape yg i nk highlight kan ye la, rindu i still punish i these 4 days. maybe i rse mcm ni coz hafiz da susah nk contact i, so ape yg i bole buat, just tutup or bukak mate je la.

nk tdo jap,minx2 i bgn nnti, i can hear his voice, i can see his eyes, i can touch his hand, and i can feel his hug.
we still miss u~ :)

okey ini muke org boring, saket, selsema babi, lpar,geram and hilang suami and rindu rindu rindu rindu.hhuu:)

pejam or bukak mate?

2009-10-27T00:59:00.000-07:00

mmg org slalu ckp,bile dah hbes study, bru lah rse bosan.sbb hari2 i akn buat bnde yg sme and berulang2 kli kt rumah.
tpi hri ni mcm pelik skit lah, coz buat prtma kali nye i bgn awl2 pgi smenjak i ade kt rmh ni. hha, tpi same jgk, xde beze pon. sbb bile i bgn awl, i still buat kje yg same which is lepak dlm blik seharian, and bkak lptop smpai ke ptg, and on9 je kje.
tpi hri ni mcm pelik skit la, coz i x dduk dlm blik seharian and i cube cri siaran kt tv yg paling best utk ditonton. hhaha.
tpi sme jgk, if i dduk dpn tv msti i akn bkak peti ais and cri mknan2 yg melazatkan smbil mkn trkakangkang, terbaring, termeniarap dpn tv. and pstu akan diakhiri dgn dugung terlantar di ruang tamu. hahah,tpi hri ni mcm pelik skit lah, coz i tonton tv tnpa mmegang or mengunyah mkanan ape2. nk pgi dapur pon, i rse mcm mls gile yg amat.
mulut ni pon da x larat and x mmpu nk terime ape2. perut apetah lgi, mmg x selera lngsung.
erm today asek tgk jam bertubi2, klau boleh nk cabut battery jam so i x kn sdar da brpe lame sbnrnye i tnggu bilenye nk tibe hari die balek.
kwn2 call pon, ajk lepak, i msih mls utk kuar dri rmh, start enjin kete and lemparkn snyuman palsu and tipu kt dieorg.
sesungguhnye i mmg bosan hri ni, mungkin klau i pejam or bukak mate pon, hari i utk hri ni
mmg amat mmbosankan.
and handphone jadi bestfren i lately. tidur ke, prgi toilet ke, dduk kt dapur ke, mkn ke, slalu ade dgn i, tnggu tlefon dri org yg trsyg.
pic die jdi kegemaran i lately, wallpaper phone ke, lptop ke, skrin tv ke, hhha. sblm tdur wajib tgk dlu.
i cube pnatkan diri, so that i bole tdo lpstu, tnpe pkir ape2. today, i buat sume kje dlm rmh, sidai kain,cuci kain, lap cermin,cuci toilet, kemas bilik, cuci kipas, sapu dapur, kemas almari, klau boleh lngsir2 sume i nk bsuh.hhaha.
now i dah pnt,but still, i cri bilik i, untuk terbaring and pndang dinding ats, dinding tepi, pndang tingkap,guling2 and x dduk diam. klau i tido pon, nnti bgn msti lgi tambah rndu ni.
hakikatnye, sume ni jadi sbb i rindukan die :(

rindu segala galenye psl die, dah la x dpt contact, call or msj kwn die pon, msti dieorg akn rse rimas. ye la pmpuan mne yg nk dduk diam, klau x taucm mne keadaan bf korang kan.
as usual, i akn trbaring di ats katil, brlari2 dlm rmh, and tido whole day if i boleh bile die xde kt cni.
i hope, sumenye akn jdi sprti biase, and i minx maaf sgt2 ape2 yg da trjdi.
tpi i nk die tau, a day without him, mcm kan thousand decades.
i want him to come back home, and we do the things dat we used to do.
breakfast same, dinner same, sumenye sme2.
we missed u!

pernah x?

2009-10-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

kadang2 kite x mampu nk buktikan ape yg kite nmpak ,melalui ckp
kadang2 kite x boleh buktikan ape yg kite dgr, melalui ckp
kadang2 kite x boleh nk tnjuk dkt org yg kite syg, mcm ne syg nye kite kt org tu, melalui ckp
maybe "sorry" its not enough, tpi org x kn jemu say sorry, if they really mean it.
i learn from the mistake.wlaupon mistake tu sebesar kuman pon.
mama selalu pesan, kalau kite dah nmpk silap slah kite,cpat2 la fix it.jgn smpai one day org pon da bosan dgn kite.
wlaupon kadang2, skitpon x pnah trlintas nk tnjuk yg TERBURUK dkt org, tpi i sedar ape yg i rase.
as i told earlier, mmg susah kite nk convince kan org melalui ckp, tpi i x prnah jemu or giv up utk explain if i btul2 syg. kalau bole,nak buat bnde yg TERBAIK hari2, and lemparkan senyuman seikhlas hati yg boleh.
i bukan PELAKON,
i x reti berlakon utk pura2 jdi happy, if i btul2 sdih.
i x reti berlakon utk marah, if i btul2 syg.
i x reti berlakon utk snyum, if i betul2 bnci.
i x prnah diajar utk "hiding" kan even skit pon yg i rse.
ape yg i tnjuk kan, itulah yg i rase.
bile i syg , i x kesah dah siang ke, malam ke, sebuk ke, saket ke, ade masalah ke, tapi i akn buat
org yg i syg always come first.
maybe i x pndai berlakon utk jdi sebagus org lain, maybe i x kan jadi secantek org lain,
coz i always give ape yg dtg dri hti.
mmg saket, bile org susah tuk terima kite seadanye.
sebaik2 kite,seburuk2 kite, maybe org lain susah nk accept.

ibarat kain yg diconteng dgn permanent ink, nk pdam pon susah. x kesah la kene air panas ke, hujan ke, sabun pncuci paling bagus di dunia ke, mmg x kan hilang ink tu.
klau kite gunting kain tu, mmg la still ade cebihan kain2 dgn permanent ink tu. tpi mungkin kain tu dah x secantik mcm dlu.
sekarang i tau mmg i slah, coz i yg corak kan hti org dgn phuh kasih syg smpai x boleh hilang, tpi once i buat slah, mmg la x boleh lupa, ibarat i conteng and gunting hati org tu.
and now i knw that i x boleh kembalikan org tu or hbungan tu sebaik2 mcm dlu, ibarat canteknye kain tu mase mule2.
tapi i boleh curik cebihan2 kain tu, and simpan utk i slamenyer2, coz i know i will have ur love
forever, wlaupon kain tu dah x cantek mcm dlu.
klau i pndai jahit, da lme i jahit balek, utk org yg i syg.
now i'm fixing it, ibarat i belajar mnjahit utk convince kan ape yg i rse.
if i got luka while menjahit pon, i x kesah, saket mcm mne pon i will teruskan.
bile baru belajar menjahit, maybe it took long time utk habeskan,
so maybe one day u will get the kain with JAHITAN YG PALING SOFTNESS eva..

in hoping.:)

2009-10-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

hha,i just dunt kno where to start. dah byk kli i type and i delete because i cannot even susun ayat i properly. but somehow i know, only god yg phm ape yg i cube katekn.
bfore i buat dis entry, i just lepas tgk lngit which is my the best hobby yg i akn bwt hri2.
hhe, maybe org x tau or x notice, only one of my best fren yg tau coz we got this same hobby and dlu suke bwt same2 bile naek kerete.:) but now she's so far and kinda busy with her works.
while we were staring up there, we always make a wish smbil ttup mate and say it out loud serentak. so that, we can hear ape doa2 msing but cannot tell it again or repeat:)
tpi tdi i bwt sorunk2 coz die xde, huhu. so nobody can hear my wish, just between me and HIM je. because my mom ckp, When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
:)

rse best bile kite tau, ade someone yg always syg kite. setiap hri bile kite bgn dri tdo, kite akan rse so alive and brpijak di bumi yg nyata. hhaa:) i takut one day i wake up, then i know someone that i love is getting far from me. i just the ordinary syasya, who loves to ngis bile sdih, who loves to sing when i'm happy, and love to dance when i'm starving. hhha
i dont get the extra-ordinary power, to predict the future, to always have ape yg i nak and to be strong to leave someone yg i syg.
it hurts when i xbole buat ape yg i nk, utk buat org laen happy, utk buat org rse di sayangi, or utk buat org percaye kt kite.

if i really have a time machine, i x nak patah balik but i want to make it forward. forward until where i get the happiness in my life. so that i can skip the, tears, pains and heartache.
love is unseen, but it will be seen if u do see someone who is loving you. and love is fragile, when you can't see someone's loving you, because of you're hiding the unseen love.
it hurts to see someone sad when they dont get love in return, but it will be more hurt if we let someone to love someone else as a return.
You will know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes,and her eyes everywhere in the world. and it is strong yet delicate.It can be broken.To truly love is to understand this.To be in love is to respect this.

if i ditanye what is it that i love?

I would say ,it’s the sway in his hips,the thickness in his thighs.It’s the lust in his lips,the love in his eyes.It’s the softness of his skin,the silk in his hair.It’s the twist in his walk, it’s the sweetness in his talk.It’s the way he loves me that makes me love him each day.That is what I would say."

i got nothing to say, just I love you.

2009-10-06T03:23:00.000-07:00

my dream girl:)

2009-10-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

yes, akhirnye hari yg i tnggu da tibe2. tapi x bole lupe diri smbut birthday coz excited sgt smpai kuar rmh lupe x pkai sliper coz x sbr, smpai shmpoo still kt rmbut ketika keluar toilet, and smpai trsilap bwk kunci rumah utk start enjin kereta !hhaha. smue ni prnah brlaku kt i dlu, bile i sgt teruja utk kuar brjalan2 or brfoya2.. so kali ni i brjge2. smpaikan bile knci rmh x boleh buka pintu kereta, i sgt mrh smpai maki knci tu dlm hti, lpstu i gelak 2 mnit sorang2 kt situ and lpstu i sgt sygkan knci rumah i..

tpi entry ni, i bkn nk cerita yg i syg knci rumah i , tpi i syg dis guy yg buatkan best-day i mmg best. and jge thanks kpda kwn2 yg sudi mesej utk wish and i syg elly lebih coz die telefon utk nyanyi lgu birthday...:) tpi elly, nyanyian awak kurang mncairkn sye mcm mne dis guy mncairkan saye hanye dgn hnya mnggunakan birthday song.. go back and practice k:)kidding yang!

sebelum tepat pkul 12, i dgn hafiz pgi cari kedai secret recipe pde pkul 10.15 mlm. for sure la, sume kdai otw nk closing, smpaikan kdai kek yg pling cikai kat tmn melawati awl2 lagi die da ttup pkul 5 ptg. agaknye die tau spe yg nk beli kek pkul 10.15 mlm kan kan kan???hhaa.

thank god, there was one branch scret recipe near the ampang point still bkak wlaupon die ttup pkul 11. and kiteorg smpai tpat pkul 10.45 mcm tu.. otw msuk,kakak cleaner tu pon dah sapu2 dpn kdai tu, coz die pon tau, spe yg nak beli kek pkul 10.45 mlm kan kan kan???hahah dush2 dri sndri..

lps da beli kek, we went to the place yg kiteorg da decide utk clbrate. unfortunately, x bole nk bwk msuk kek kt dlm tu.. i pon x tau sbb ape, maybe dieorg tau kot tu kek yg dibeli pkul 10.45 mlm..hha enough syasya!!

maybe dieorg x kasi bwk coz dlm tu rmai sgt. if dalam tu ade 20 org yg birthday die mlm tu same dgn i, x kan la i nk bgi sorang, one slice.hhe:)

so we decided to have some fun first then we went to NZ wngsamju utk mkn kek, tiup lilin and nyanyi birtday utk i. hahha, kelakar! u guys try la mkn dlu kek, bru tiup lilin and last skali nyanyi lgi birthday. :)
the best part is, i smbut bufday smbil nyanyi2 and tiup lilin tepat pkul 3 pagi. yg ni pon mmg sweet:) die delay bkn sbb saje2 pon kan kan kan. by that time, NZ pon da nk ttup, coz die pon tau spe nk smbut bfday,nyanyi2,tipu lilin pkul 3 pagi kan kan kan??

:)hhhee

i tau, bdk2 uitm sume tgh brtngkus lmus study utk last paper on monday, i bole plak balek k.l smate2 nk tiup lilin and mkn kek je..erm bkn pe, i nk clebrate with my only one, so i x ksah ape pon halangan yg mlintang, menegak ke, membujur ke, membulat ke, memetak ke,mensegi ke or ape2 la.spe2 yg ade bf kat uitm mmg la best, kuar blik je da nmpk bf pgang kek,lmbai2 bwk lilin. in my case, x kn la hafiz nk lmbai2 dri uitm sri iskandar kan kan kan.. as long as he's there with me utk share the precious moment pon ckup da.. plus, dis is our first time nk clebrate my birthday. i promise u bie, bufday b kite buat lgi "bom" k.. kite blanje sorang satu roti bom! ok xde kne ngene dah,enaf sya..

ape2 pon, hsrat i dah trcpai utk realisasikn ape yg i minx. i hope there will be more the best celebrations between us k bie.. wlaupon jauh2 i dtg dri kdah,pick up bie kt uitm sri iskandar then "shoot" trus ke k.l, tpi semue tu "memang berbaloi".. smpai dlm kereta,otw to k.l, smpat lgi tmbahkan pic2 yg sedia ade ni..hhu:)

i want to take this oppurtinity, nk ckp THANK U SO MUCH utk hafiz yg nk celebrate dgn gf yg byk kerenah mcm ni.ahhaa, i dunt need any kind of surprises, any kind of expensive presents, any kind of big party or celebrations, i just need you more that surprises,presents and big celebrations..

and dis morning, on the 3rd OCT 2009, syasya is back.. i hope b phm..
i promise u, i will bring those memories and the dream girl that you have always wanted.:)

p/s: i love you so much...

utk pembace2 setia,or kurang setia, or yg curang, ape lagi, mesej la i ucapkan kata2 and doa2 yg brmkna:) x mintak byk, doakan i bhgia, cepat kaya, cepat tinggi and cepat kawin.

hhhehe .i ltak bberapa pic, tapi x byk la coz i takut sume org bakar lptop sndri coz bnci tgk pic2 nih!

hha:)

hhhee, potong syasya jgn x potong:)

hhe,ini biase trjdi:)

make a wish cpt syasya:)

ini die bufday girl yg gmok.

selamat hari jadi shazwani shahdan:)

smpat lagi tngkp mngkap!

b i hope ur love x getting lesser starting today k.
i'm sorry..
and I.L.Y so much!!!
mmuahx

happy best-day syasya :)

2009-10-01T02:07:00.000-07:00

hari ni dah masuk 1 october 2009 and paper global and law dah habes dikerjakan oleh i dalam examination hall. pic atas ni i tngkap bfore nk pgi belasah keratas soalan tu ckup2..hha

i hope sgt semuenye ape yg i tibai and jawab tu betul.hhha so madam madam semua, anda tau ape yg anda perlu lakukan iaitu tanda kertas jawapan i dgn belas kasihan. :)hhhe.
tinggal satu je paper economics on next monday. otw nk tnggu last paper, hari jadi i akn mendatang! ok amek perhatian, amek berat, amek kertas and pensil, amek handphone and amek calendar bulatkan besar2 tarikh 3.oktober.2009..
wah sgt berlagak i nk bgtau semue org bufday i bile. bkn ape, i x sbr nk tnggu pkl 12 and make a wish lame2. org slalu ckp seminit masuknye tepat hari jadi kite, tuhan akan buka peluang untuk makhluk kejadian-NYA utk berdoa and minta ape2 je. i x kate la doa tu semuenyer trmakbul but at least dah suarakan pon cukup la.
u guys jgn percaya 100% pulak ape i ckp, eh i x cakap , nenek i yg ckp. hahah so bukan salah i.

klau ikutkan bile2 pon boleh doa, tpi i nk hari jdi i kli ni tutup semua kisah2 silam yg basi, busuk, buruk and bacin semue tu. i nk buat something yg bru sempena masukknye umur i yg ke ....???hahah pkir sndri.
tpi ade bnde yg i x boleh ubah kot, which is ketinggian!!!
haha org kate, kalau perempuan dah mncecah umur mcm i ni, dah x de harapan nk tinggi kan diri. tinngikan suara or tinggikan darjat boleh la... :)hhaa
erm i x sabar nk bwt entry smpena hri jdi i hri sbtu ni. maybe there will be more pictures dgn org2 trsayang, msuh or org2 yg kurang syg i...
byk wish yg i da simpan dlm hti and ready utk disuarakan..
tpi x bole la bgtau u guys nnti x trmkbul. hhe:)
klau dlu, hri jadi i mcm biase je.xde yg best and xde yg xbest..i nk msukkan pic2 hri jadi i yg lame, tpi sume i ter delete sbb die dlm stu folder yg x best, and i delete folder tu trus lupe plak sume pic bufday i yg tahun2 lepas, tahun gajah, tahun nenek2 i mude dulu ade dlm tu..
dis entry i nk nyatakan beberapa wish or hasrat yg i dah ready utk suarakan..hhha:)
tpi wish yg pling best, hanye tuhan and i je tau..no one knows:)
maybe antare wish2 yg i sebut ni mmg x msuk akal la, tpi i akn cube jgak utk fulfill kan kesemua wishes ni, x kesah la smpai hari jadi i yg ke 59 nnti..
hha:)

antara-antara nye ialah:

1) i selalu mimpi utk memiliki 1kasut ni dalam mimpi i,kadang2 i ibaratkan die memang tercipta utk i. hahha, i tak tau i akan dpt dis GUESS shoe utk hri jadi i yg ke berapa, tpi sumpah like hell i nk 1 kasut ni. hahah sangat tamak. if i dapat tag or kotak die je utk bufday i kali ni pon i x kesah. :)

2) lepastu i gilekan beg ni!! i rase die memang dilahirkan sgt pelik and i memang di lahirkan utk dapatkan die yg pelik. if u guys rase die x pelik xpe la... tpi i sgt cintakan die. memandangkan ni pon jenama yg mahal2 so i rase maybe i akn dptkan die utk hari jadi yg ke berapa puluh tahun pon i tak tau, tpi die one of my biggest wish!:)

3) dulu i suke and sgt gilekan makanan ni. selame beberapa bulan i trpkir i dah x sentuh makanan ni. i pon x tau sbb ape, so i hope dis coming bufday i ni, i nk pgi bungkus bnde alah ni byk2 and ajak sekali hafiz kesayangan i tu mkn same2..!
tpi dis one x boleh share, bie beli satu, i beli satu.hahah!!!
kalau bakso ni murah je, yg ni x payah tnggu bifday i yg ke 59 tahun, yg ni skrg pon boleh! :)hhha

4) i tau i dah besar, x pyh la nk beli kek and kena letak lilin byk2 and then nyanyi rmai2 pstu tiup lilin..dlu mse i kcik2 bole la kot, mama beli kan kek warna warni tpi mmg x sedap. then mama mengaku yg die x pndai pilih kek. i x nak kek yg ade bunga kertas,lepastu kalau makan boleh saket perut 2,3, hri lepas tu. hhaha. kalau boleh i nk i slice kek ni pon jadi lah!!! gile sedap.

5) and last but not least, this is my biggest wish msti la i nk jmpe si jejaka idaman i:) oh i rindu, i rindu, i rindu, i rindu..
b tnggu, tmrro i smpai amek u kt sri iskandar then kite bole clebarate bufday i same2 k!!!

6) eh tapi kan ade lagi satu wish yg i rase semue org nak sgt.. hahah. i hope there is another cincin dkt jemari i mcm pic kt bawah ni by next year! hahaha:)

i know semue permintaan i x same mcm permintaan korang. of coz la kan..

tpi i sgt x sbr utk tnggu this coming 3rd october.

i know, lately i sgt stress coz dgn final exam wlaupon ade 3 paper je.. but there is one thing yg bwt i lega ckit dri stress if i dgr suare someone!!haha, thank u for him la:) i nk besar cepat! doakan ye... sape yg rase die kaye raye meh la tunaikan one of my wishes ni. tpi plz jgn amek hafiz ye, cukup2 la perempuan yg x reti bahasa yg cube utk merosakkan rumah tangga org. i mohon sgt kt cni, i xnk sbut name die, x baik mengaibkan org.. ahhaha:)

b i syg u! love u...

2009-09-25T02:28:00.000-07:00

about him.

-he loves to sing alone whether in his car,his room or mane2 yg die suke..bile nyanyi, die akn moving his body,hands, mcm superstar.. :)
- he loves to hold someone's hand when he's doing something..driving, walking to mne2 tmpt..
and even hold his guy's frens infront of me. bkn ape, he showed die pnye syg kt kwn2 laki..hha:)
-he loves to hisap "shi sha" coz die suke bwt asap yg tebal2, byk2, smpai org kcik mcm i ni, bole tnggelam..hha:)
-he loves to hentak2 kaki and tpuk tgn skali bile die gelak or ade something yg klakar... cumel sgt:) for exmple, when he played a game, bile nk klah he will like screming,laughing,then hentak2 his kaki and tgn smbil ketawa..haha:)
-he loves to urut his dada, and take a deep breath bile die mrh,letih or messed up with s'thing..
die jgk akn bwt mcm tu kt i, if i pon rse mcm tu..then i will feel relieve and safe je:)thank u..
-when he walk, he got one style like bdak2...he hold my hand and die jln mcm tu with dat style..
for sure, i x bole nk tnjuk dlm ni, tpi sweet sgt..:)
-he loves to lipat his lngan bju, especially kemeja.. so that, he will look cool, and gntleman bile jln..oh i suke sgt:)
-when he get mad, nafas die akn laju, and akn grakkan all his jari-jemari mcm letup2 tu.. and his eyes akn mcm staring yg gile tkut.. sbb tu bile die mrh, i akn ngis coz serius tkut.. :)
-he loves to minum air tin without ice..so, mamak2 sume plz take note ape yg die order lps ni..
-he loves to ikut ape je yg i psn bile mkn, especially bile time buka puase..sometimes, we even sharing da food mcm kuey tiaw, roti naan, nsi lemak, maggi goreng or milo ice tpi ade dua straw..:)
-he loves to carry his nikon camera mne2 die pgi, tpi die sgan bile i tngkp pic die..kdang2 nk dpt kn our pic same2 pon ssh..tpi once die snyum, cute je..
-when he do the talk bile mrh or serius, he loves to someone to listen..and make sure every soalan die tnye, kne jwb..coz die x suke bile org tnye diam je and x bgi respon..:)
-plus, he loves to someone to pujuk die bile die x de mood, mrh, or he got problem..die suke org tnye how was his condition, so that he knows ade someone yg caring and syg die..:)
-he loves to wear his cincin and jam mne2 die pgi..kdang2 time tdo pon die pkai..:)
-the best part is, die suke "mengigau". prnah skali, he suddenly ckp time tido "xde la tinggi sgt..183cm je..the tallest man in the world" :)
-his favoourite words are "macam mane?" "my dear.." "syg.." "ok cun!" "berlagak plak" "..:)
-he loves to forget mane die letak lighter..dah brape byk lighter dlm krete i, and sume tu die pnye..:)
-he loves to mkn my "maggi goreng", and sometimes die even follow i kt dapur and do the helping such as tumbuk bwang, potong cili.. sbuk je die..:) lpstu mkn sme2..
-now die ade habit bru, nyanyi lgu tpi dgn suara tgh mrh and geram.. hahah, only he knows how to do it..
tpi smpah klakar..:)

klau ikutkan byk lgi, yg i x bole nk cerite kt cni..when he read dis, maybe he thinks i x tau sgt psl die.. tpi ni lah yg i slalu rndukan bile die xde...
i love to see his eyes, his smile, and hear his voice..
maybe from now on, i da ssh nk tgk sume tu... i know ape yg jdi btween us, maybe x kn dpt fix lgi coz i can see in ur eyes u ready to let me go, when i ask u to leave me..
i hav to.. i hav to let u go coz xnk tgk u mrh2, sidh2, and xde mood dgn i..
i bkn give up, but i giving up for loving u..i tau u saket bile u dgn i..u have to be pretending all the time..i xnk..it hurts me..
even i do hope, u pujuk i and ask me for another options or ways utk fix kn balek sume ni..
but u dont and maybe u wont....:)
i syg all da memories, sorry coz not being da perfect women as u always want...

c.u.k.u.p

2009-09-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

kadang2 kite x sempurna di mata org lain..

mungkin kite x secantik yg org lain idamkan, mungkin kite x selembut hati yg org lain mahukan,

mungkin kite x sekaya yg org lain perlukan..

tpi saye sempurna di mata saya saye sndri..

saye cantek di mata saye sndri,

hti saye lembut seperti mana saye mahukan,

saye mampu utk mnanggung dri sprti saye perlukan..

saye kuat bile org lain menguji kekuatan saye..

saye mampu tertawa walaupon org lain tertawakan saye..

sebab saye sedar siape saye di mata saye sndri..

sebab saye sedar mampunye saye senyum seikhlas hti saye..

saye x perlu kan kata2 yg saket utk saye mngis..

sbb saye sndri mampu menagis bile saye tau kurangnye diri saye..

saye snggup lukakan diri sbb saye lukakan hti org lain..

parut yg akan saye tinggalkan di luar, same seperti parut yg org lain tinggalkan di dalam hati saye..

saye bukan smpah, mahupon patung..

yg hanya jijik di kemudian hari and dibuang x diperlukan..

mungkin xde lagi syasya dgn senyuman dan happy mcm ni. saye cukup penat smbunyikan saketnye saye in every single pic ni..

i wish i could have one:)

2009-09-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

okey i nak anak mcm ni. same x??hhha:) apela syasya~
compare kan muke baby ni dgn muke i tau. we hav a lot of things in common! seriusly:)hha

mase kcik2 i suke main kawin2 dgn cousin i. buat pelamin pura2, lepastu ade knduri mkn2, make up tebal2 mcm pngantin, lepastu ade org dtg renjis bunga rampai, lpastu curi cincin mama pkai kt jari, then salam org minx berkat, and ade org jadi pengapit. kelakar sgt.. bile besar, teringin jgak nk main kawen2 dgn bf, tpi tkut die x bleh terima plak..:)

slalunye lps kawen msti ade rumah sndri, jge pkai makan hsband, buat breakfast pgi2 and gsokkan bju die and slm cium tgn,pipi,dahi sume before pgi kje..hha, ade ke bdak2 uitm zmn skrg still lagi pkir mcm ni?
erm sume org tringin nk ade anak bile dah kawen kan..sape sokong i sila buka baju skrg and mnari lagu dangdut amelina,msti chumel u allz:)

i x kate i dah gatal nak kawen and ade anak, tapi tibe2 perasaan tu timbul bile i nmpak one baby tadi mase buka puasa kat luar dgn roomate.. i bkn nk kutuk psl his dad and his mom..
tpi baby tu cumel sgt, bile baby tu nangis dgn kuatnye boleh ke mak die kate mcm ni "bole diam x?mak nak makan ni kan.." then ayah die boleh rampas baby tu dri wife die dgn kasar nye and cubit, pukul baby tu, lpstu ckp mcm ni "tak paham betul aku dgn budak ni, ape die nak ntah"..

nasib baik baby tu kcik lgi, x paham lagi ape yg mak ayh die ckp.. tpi klau itu anak i, i jge die mcm i jge dri sndri..mcm mane i x nak org lain pkul or sentuh i, mcm tu la i akn protect die..

cheh,poyo syasya ni..

ape yg i nk highlight kt cni, psl relationship kite dgn parents..x salah kite nak bendung ank kite dgn cara mcm tu, tpi pnah x u allz trpkir bile once die dah bsar, x mgkin die akn rapat dgn kite coz dri awal kite dah ajar utk brkeras dgn die.. i sdih bile ade anak2 yg kurang rapat dgn parents masing2.. again, klau i ade anak, die akn jdi part of my life..die lah anak i, kwn i even musuh i..
once kite dah jarakkan hubungan kite dgn anak kite,maybe susah utk kite turn back time..
ape perasaan ank dieorg bile sedih?bile die prlukan seseorg utk luahkn ape die rse?tipu la klau dieorg x prlukan parents dieorg mse tu..

i swear to god, i xkan abaikan anak i one day..whatever it takes,i xkn treat mcm mne i nmpak parents lain treat ank dieorg, coz i sndri bleh rse ape yg dieorg rse.. :(

kadang2 takde niat kite trlintas utk kurang ajar or tnjuk belang dpn parents kite, but sometimes situation tu trjdi coz kite dah di ajar utk protes bile org lain susahkan kite skit..
mcm ape yg i nmpk tdi, baby tu baru nagis skit, maybe die lpar or x selesa dgn tmpat tu, tpi parents die mrh2 mcm la baby tu mnyusahkan smpai kene pkul2 and maki2.. cube bile die dah besar, bile parents dieorg bsing2,mrh2 , x mustahil die plak maki2 parents die..kan x best mcm tu.. :(
hha, korang jgn kate i ade naluri ibu, tpi inilah naluri yg wajib ade dlm setiap prempuan..
mcm mne tomboy, pengkid ke, ganas pon korang, hati tu tetap lmbut..
macam mne marah pon kite, control diri..jgn cepat melenting, maki2 or tngi2 suara..
kadang2 kite x sedar , kite maki2 or marah2 org tu, org tu lah yg syg kan kite ..
yg snggup terima baik and buruk kite..yg snggup brsabar dgn perangai kite..

if i ade anak one day, maybe i akan cube utk tidak brkasar or pkul die.. coz i tau mcm mne rsenye.. :(
anak itu adalah anugerah dari Allah s.w.t..die dilahirkan bukan utk dikesalkan or ditangisi:)

kite main lukis2:)

2009-08-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

dulu i x suke melukis, main colour2, pgang pnsel wrna pon xsuke. ape lgi warna air lgi bnci and tgk kertas lukisan pon i xnak.
hha:) tpi skrg i dah brjinak mnjdi pelukis,hha knon mcm cntek sgt la tu lukisan.
ini sume sbb die:)

bile dah rindu, mcm ni lah. pastu melukis dpn pintu, kreatif sgt cik syasya nih.

pastu tgk nih.

okey yg ni utk bgi i spirit pgi2:)

i akn cube perbaiki lukisan lepas ni:)

ini je yg mampu i bgtau tao:)

HAPPY 2MONTHS BIE:)

my heart is getting little fragile.

2009-08-09T04:51:00.000-07:00

oh hye! for dis entry, i wont talk about s'thing romantic. it seems like, i dah xde topic lain ke nk crite.previously,maybe sumenye cerite psl i je,but for dis time i nk crite psl kwn i, tpi die minx supaya nme die x disebut dlm entry ni. i trpkse hormat prmintaan die k:)sorry.

sebelum i nk isi perut yg buncit ni kt fudcourt, tibe telefon yg murah ni berbunyi. i pon angkat la,
and lepas da angkt i tekan button hijau. hha, enough syasya! tibe suare org kelam kabut gile and mnjerit2 mnangis.
yg i ingt dlm kepala otak time tu, keadaan tu same time my cousin call i dlu mase i form 5, hanye nk bgtau "weh kakak aku dah bersalin!". so i ingat dis time, kwn i plak yg dah bersalin :)hha. rupenyer tidak, keadaan kli ni sgt tidak menggembirakan. smpaikan dgn hafiz2 i kne mrh, ntah knpe i mrh die pon x tau. sorry b! and stu malam sye hbeskan mse dpn laptop smbil buat muke garang, and x snyum. :)ok now i snyum jap.

nak tau cerita?
luangkan masa anda sbntar brsma " theordinarysyasya.blogspot.com"

kli ni, i nk highlight kn prkataan ni "kehilangan"

okeh,maybe korang sume msti trpkir die ni hilang brg ke,duit ke,hilang semngat ke, hilang tumpuan ke,hilang kucing ke, hilang keje ke or ape2 la.

oh tidak tidak tidak,sumenyer salah. i rse xde sape pon nak brg org org yg die syg "hilang" dgn sengajanye kan? spe sokong i, boleh bukak bju skrg and menari lagu Mariah Carey,msti cumel u allz.
but in her case, i mmg geram sgt la and x mngkin i maafkn org tu smpai bile2 sbb die sndri yg "hilangkan" dri.

i x ckp laki zmn skrg sumenyer pndai hilangkn diri, tpi i sgt marah bile dieorg sndri yg sengaje buat mcm tu. tpi msti dieorg selalu menang klau main police-entry,who want to jaga mse kcik2 dlu. msti klau main game tu, 3,4 hri x kan jumpe dieorg, sbb pndai hilangkan dri. ok enough syasya!
tlg la, jgn jadikan alasan anda ada perempuan lain, anda boleh buat tibe2 hilang kan diri mcm tu je. i boleh terime klau anda kate anda hilang kawalan ke or hilang focus ke dgn pasangan anda.

cube bayangkan, pasangan anda tercari2 anda selame beberapa minggu,lepastu dpt tau yg anda hilangkan diri bersama pasangan baru. sgt dan sungguh kejam dri anda.
and bile brjumpa nk selesaikan masalah, anda dgn slumbernye ckp anda hilang perasaan dgn si dia dan itu yg mmbuatkan anda bersama pasangan yg bru.

cube bayangkan ape yg anda telah buat pada si dia?? cheh wah syasya.
ok cube tgk ni ape si dia akan rse bile kehilangan anda.

1)die akan hilang selera utk makan.

2)die akn hilang focus bile buat something.

3)die akan hilang kepercayaan pda lelaki lps ni.

4)die akn hilang semangat utk buat hbngan dgn org lain.

5) dan mungkin juge die akn hilang ingatan krna trlalu syg kan anda.

okey la, i x nak tunjuk yg i hilang kawalan kt cni, tpi i ckup hilang sabar dgn perangai anda yg x pernah fikir ape yg si die buat untk memiliki anda. cukuplah jika anda "appreciate" ape yg si die buat selame 2 tahun anda bersame.

erm i tau maybe ade reason's sebalinye kenape die buat mcm ni, but still i minx si dia tampilkan dri utk buat statement.hhaha,ok serious syasya:)
klau bleh sile dtg dgn mmbawa 3 keping kertas mahjong and tulis reason's kenape anda tinggalkan kawan i. sbnrnye i nk sruh bwak 6 keping tpi i tau krtas majong skrg mahal.

utk p'ngtahuan anda sume, i ade bwt research ckit ptg tdi melalui telefon je la. i tnye kwn i bberapa prkare2 plik, sblum "anda" tadi tu tinggalkan die. and here all are the "perkare2 pelik" which might help those who were undergoing the same situations.

1) evryday kite yg akn check on him first. dan die x akan msj or call kite selagi kite x buat.

REASON- maybe sbb die dah bhgia dgn pasangan bru and x mungkin utk die msj or kol
kite dulu.

2) klau kite tnye die soalan pnjang gile, jawapan die munglin hnya 5 shje. "oh ye ke?" ataupon
"erm x kot" ataupon "oh blum lgi" ataupon " dah" ataupon "maybe la kot"

REASON- maybe psngan bru die dah x sbr2 nk tnggu die reply msj, and die trpkselah jawab
yg pndek2 je utk kite. sbb, utk pasangan bru die, maybe die akn type msj 3 ke 4
pages.

3) kadang2 kite trpkse missed kol die or hntr msj brtubi2. utk sruh reply msj

REASON- maybe pasangan baru die punya stu kelebihan dimana boleh membalas msj dgn
hanya 2 saat:) and x mungkin die akn membalas msj anda dlu sehinggalah anda sndri
missed kol die as a warning yg korang da tnggu msj die dah 2 jam.:)

4) susah untuk mengangkat telefon ketika die keluar.

REASON- maybe die keluar dgn pasangan bru.maybe juge die telah tukarkan nme korang dgn
nme yg menakutkan contohnye "mydad" , "my mum" or "mak tiri yg garang".
so alasan die nnti dgn pasangan bru, "oh i x nk angkat nnti my mum sruh balik
awl". ataupon die tukar nme korang jdi nme laki. so alasan die dgn pasangan bru,
i x nk angkat lah, nnti dieorg ajk i lepak. i nk spend time dgn u je" :)
tpi klau korang tnye knpe die x ankt telefon? alasan die- " i tgh drive" ataupon
hp i vibrate rosak, xdgr u kol." ataupon "hp i trtinggal la". :)

5) bile kite ajak keluar, die akn minx utk pergi yg x ramai org or kuar mlm je.

REASON- maybe die dah jadi vampire kot, takut nk kuar siang. ahah, serius la syasya!:)
eh x x, maybe pasangan baru die suke utk pergi tempat yg ramai org mcm pasar mlm
ke, sure heboh ke, ataupon perayaan merdeka. hha:) sbb tu lah die takut untuk bwk
korang kt tmpt rmai org,nnti kantoi lah kan kan.

6)klau dlu bile kuar pegang tangan,kaki,hidung,kepala sume lah. tpi skrg jalan pon nk laju je
tinggalkan korang kt belakang.

REASON- maybe die dah berubah ke jalan yang benar, dah x nk buat maksiat depan org rmai lgi
ataupon die brjangkit kurap dri psngan bru and x boleh berpegangan dgn anda.
hhaha:) eh x x, maybe die tkut pasangan bru die nmpak and buat sesi berpegangan
kasar dgn korang di tmpat awam. (tumbuk, sepak menyepak, tmpar mnampar atau
pon trik mnarik rmbut.)

7) credit die cepat habes. (heh i suke yg ni)

REASON- maybe die dah jdi business man, so die kne kol or msj org2 pnting:)
eh x x, maybe pasangan bru die tu ank org kaya, x kesah topupkan die 7 kali sehari.
maybe die dgn pasangan bru main mesej 24 hours and brckp telefon smpai pkul
6 pagi sbb suara psngan bru tu manja, merdu, sedap gile weh. and x mungkin die
akn telefon kite yg suara basi ni.

erm i x tau knpe i tibe2 hilang sbr and hilang kawalan utk org yg mcm ni. i bukan ape, i ksian kan kt kwn i tu yg syg and setia gile kt die selame ni. wlaopon kdg2 kiteorg ade la gtal2 ckit dgn abg yg kje bangi kopitiam kt wngsamju tu.hhaha,ok dah!

kan best klau die dpt laki yg btul2 paham ape yg kite rse. cthnye- klau die merajuk, or mrh, dat guy kol buat2 lawak pon die dah appreciate sgt.

kan best klau dat guy sndri yg x boleh duduk diam klau die x msj or kol.cthnye- evry hour tnye mcm mne kite kt cni,dah mkn ke blm, ok ke x.:)

kan best die dpt laki yg stiap hri bgi morning kiss mlalui msj je la and brsertakan dgn "lov or miss you".

ahhah, kan best klau ade laki mcm ni yg snggup utk jdi teman bru utk kwn i ni.

to her: kau sbr k:) nnti aku buat report police. hhe!
and to hafiz: b jgn hilangkan dri tao:)

1 jam 45 minit je:)

2009-08-04T05:05:00.000-07:00

okay, i tau maybe lepas ni "theordinarysyasya.blogspot" akn dipenuhkan dgn cerite2 romantik je.hha, sesipe yg kurang brminat,boleh la click button x yg ade di belah atas,kanan anda skrg.:) tpi sesiape yg sudi bce,trime ksih ye.hhe,as usual i trsnyum lebar je,wlaupon lately i kurang sehat ckit. bile batuk je i snyum, slsema ni kcau i pon, i snyum,klau demam dnggi pon i snyum je.sng cerite, lpas ni i suke and happy je klau saket. klau bleh, i nk hari2 saket.ahha:) bkn ape, i rse dihargai bile saket. btul x?heh, spe skong i bleh bukak bju skrg and menari lgu hip's dont lie!msti cumel u allz!hha:)

i x tau la cerita yg i nk share ni, cerita seram ke, romantik ke, ganas ke, dongeng ke, ahha,yg pasti ianya satu cerita yg best:)cheh wah,poyo jap.time kite saket, msti kite rse dilayan mcm permaisuri kan. bile dmam ni, mcm2 kite dpt LEBIH. cthnye, "weh kau nk mkn, aku blikan", "kau larat x?x larat aku buatkan", "eh xpe xpe, kau x sehat, rest je ". hhaa! mmg best dilayan sebegini, xkan la korang x suke?:)klau utk yg ade boyfriend, lgi la best. cthnye, "syg u x sehat?jgn lupe mkn ubat,tke care,love u ,muahhs2" "syg are u ok?rest k". best kn?klau x saket, mesej maybe 20 mnit bry d'reply, tpi klau SAKET 2 mnit je , msj dah smpai.tpi mcm mne plak klau bf jauh? msti dlm msj je, kite bleh mngadu2 and mnje2..pastu nagis sorang2, bile bf buat suara manja ala garang2 gitu.ahhah, syasya poyo!in my case, wlaupon bf i jauh tpi i ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup ckup syg die. trus terang i mngaku dlm entry ni, die buat i mnagis sbb terharu sgt. for me, 4.8.2009 xkn i lupe.

kisahnye bermule di sini,so luangkan masa anda sebentar bersama "theordinarysyasya.blogspot.com" :)

hri isnin, 3.8.2009, (cheh siap bgi tarikh) i mmg dah rse nak dmam, i xlarat, letih and rse mngntok je. tpi i stay cool coz syasya mmg cool.haha,ok enough syasya. ptg tu i tdo, coz kepala i gile pening.hanya panadol and cool fever mnjadi hero i time tu. bile dah malam, i lgi rse mcm nk tidur je. sumpah letih and x larat, and i stay cool lgi. hafiz i pon yg dari k.l bru smpai uitm sri iskandar pon x larat and letih.. so i mls nk kcau die sgt,since die pon msti nk kemas brg sume. tepat pkul 12 mcm tu, i mmg dah "demam" yg amat sgt and i pon bgtau die. tpi i dah kate dgn die, i OK je. lepastu i pon mkn ubt and rest mcm biase smpai la keesokan paginye.

(u guys tnggu, cite x hbes lgi)

esk tu i bgn mcm biase, sbb ade kls bel 332 pkul 10 pgi. bile i pndang hp, got 27 missed call, and bberapa msj. sume nmber tu adlh my hafiz's nmber. and one of the messages, berbunyi bgini. eh jap, die x bunyi, die tertera mcm ni.:) - "syg dah bgn t g msg k, i check dkt cni nme u xde" and stu lgi mesej "i da sampe lame tao, wad nmber brpe". ok pause jap! msti korang trtnye2 npe plak cite psl wad2 nih?? ok biar i explain.

mlm sblum i tdo tu, i mmg pgi further checked tpi luckily i xde pape. it just a "tahanan" biase and mcm "main2". stu pnghinaan buat i sbnrnyer dgn tahanan tu. i mmg bgtau hfiz, and i x bgtau die yg i dah balek uitm pkul brpe coz disebabkan ubat yg mcm dadah tu i trtdo dgn lenanye. so, i mule lah kelam kabut and trus kol die. "b u dtg uitm k, jmpe i kt cni".

ok sumpah,sbnrnyer mmg SERAM bile tnggu die smpai. yg i tau dlm kepala i, perkataan SORRY 7 ribu kali dgn BISMILLAH 70 ribu kali. ok i pon x tau knpe "bismillah".hha i mulelah trbayang, satu penampar sakti hinggap ke muke i, ataupon scene maki2 hamun pasangan bercinta trjadi kt uitm merbok nih! ahha.

tpi alhamdulillah, first time i nmpk muke die, die snyum je. ckp pon slow2 je..daripada seram trus jadi romantik jap. ye la, kiteorg jumpe 1 jam 45 minit je, coz i ade kls pkul 12. and die pon kne blik cpat..

i tau even die snyum and ketawa2 dgn i pon, i tau die pnat,letih, x tdo lgi pastu kne drive pkul 3 pgi trus dtg kedah sume. die still bleh snyum and ckp dgn i elok2, wlaupon i tau depply inside his heart, maybe die mrh tpi syg LEBIH kan kan?haha mcm mnepon, i still rse serba slh and trus jdi adegan rindu merindu jap. i bwk die lunch kt foodcourt kesayangan kite-kite semua di uitm kedah. :)hhe
time ni i xtau die mmbebel ape, muke je serius tpi bile once die bersuara, i trus diam, pandang die and trus snyum je. i just love to hear his voice. ok sumpah i dah rindu dah..:) wlaupon smpat borak kjap je dgn die, da ckup utk bwt dmam i hilang lngsung!:)

ok lah, i x cakap i sorang je ade bf kt dunia ni. (hha, ulang balik ayat nih). tpi i just nk bgtau die, betapa serba slhnye i coz x bgtau die awl2. klau x, maybe die x pyh dtg jauh2, skipped class, susahkan kwn die, byr duit kete, minyak,tol, ape lgi?ha, mcm2 la..but the best part is, cincin die i dah pulangkan blek. coz last friday,kteorg gduh and die bgi i blek cincin tu. see, now she's alone:)

ok, mmg buruk siku syasya nih. i anggap dis blog mcm mini diari i but diz one i share ape yg i rse. i ibaratkan, die je yg akan jadi pembace setia mini diary i ni. so i hope when he reads diz, die x marah2 i wlaupon diam2. i just nk bgtau yg i appreciate ape yg die buat. sorry again..and today die yg bwt surprise pling cool..

"now i tau yg i syg u sgt and i syg u mcm nk mampos kot" :)

10 memories.

2009-08-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

:( SORRY :)

lame x merepek dlm blog.bukan ape, kdg2 dah tulis smpai half page, pastu i delete balek sbb takut x seswai dibaca oleh khalayak rmai.hha, btul ke ntah ayat i nih.. kdg2 kite nk tulis something yg kite rse, bkn senang kan..kene dduk sorang2, trmenung jauh2, keadaan sunyi je, lampu ttup, smbil dgr lgu favourite,bru lah kite bleh cerita dgn jujur..cheh wah.:)
tpi klau tgh sedih, lgi jujur ape yg kite tulis tu..i x kate, i tulis entry ni bile i sedih, hhe.tpi of coz la, mmg ade rse skit. so i hope, those yg bce entry ni pon rse ape yg i rse..thank u:)hha
i suke tulis something yg org lain pon rse..bru lah bleh share kan?maybe ape yg korang rse, ade yg lagi truk dri i..tpi take it easy la ok, hidup ni kjap je..so enjoy la every moment dgn org yg trsyg..
erm, ckp psl org "tersayang" ni, sensitive skit..bgi i la, bgi org lain x tau la kan. i klau dah syg org mmg mcm org gile. asek pkir die je, haish sumpah truk cik syasya2 nih.:)ahha.

ok, i what do u think bout diz situations:
1)masakkan untuk dia and mkn same2 kat taman titiwangsa.
2)borak2 and gelak2 dgn dia dalam kereta smpai pagi, and smbil tgk pic2 dia mase kecil.
3)kongsi makan nasi lemak satu pinggan dgn dia time breakfast.
4)menyanyi lgu favourite same2 dgn dia dlm kereta, and ulang byk2 kali.:)hha
5)keluar dgn dia dgn pkai bju kurung, slepas die dtg dinner dgn parents kt rumah.
6)holding hand for hours wlaupon kt kdai mamak, and dlm kereta.
7)gelakkan org accident same2, time tgh breakfast:) sungguh tak berhati perut.
8)makan burger kt bukit somewhere in cheras, and lpastu?hha:)
9) pakai cincin same bentuk dgn dia, setiap mase, wlaupon ketika..:)hehe
10) and dia menangis bile bgtau betapa sayangnye kt kite. :(

erm bgi i, 10 situasi ni adlh pling best utk i ..hhe, i x kate, i sorang je ade bf dlm dunia ni,hha tpi i rse all these things trlalu cpt jdi between us wlaupon bru sebulan lbih knal..i rse mcm mimpi, coz slalunye org kate klau sebulan susah skit nk ade chemistry.. but for me, i rse mcm dah knal lame kot.hha, sumpah i gile. yes i gilekan die!ok enough sya2..
dlm seminggu i cuti ni, mmg mcm2 jdi. ade yg best,ade yg x best..but still, i appreciate ape yg die buat. bgi i, die ckup protective and hero i lah..hha. die boleh buat i hilang dri dunia jap, bile die kate "i love u syg.."
tpi org kate, x semestinye sume best. ade jgk yg x best..
last day bfore i balek, ade ckit gduh and smpai dia accident sume. i tau, both of us x nak pon sume tu jdi..ape yg i nk ckp kt cni, i just nk bgtau die betape i syg kan 10 memories yg ade ni..klau ikutkan byk lgi yg i x mampu nk list out kt cni. but the best memory is our first met. i tau time tu, bukan our intention utk knal antra stu sme lain, but it turns out to be something yg paling berharga utk i..
i hope when u read diz, this is one of my surprises yg i dah janji kt u dlu..hha, so sape lpas ni
yg gduh dgn bf, meh la buat mcm syasya gile ni.:)ahah.

smlm i trkir, if die x dtg mlm tu 4th july, maybe i x kan knl spe die,nme die,dduk mne, and maybe i xkn hppy smpai mcm ni..
i just dont care what people say, as long as i tau ape yg i buat ni utk die je..

i x kesah if die x ready utk sume ni, but still i akn cube:) bukan pakse, tpi cube okkay:)
i tau, xde sape yg prfect kan, kadang2 kite trlepas ckp, trtinggi suara ke, bile dah marah bukannye kite sedar sume tu. especially pmpuan yg cepat emosional ni mule la nak buat bukan2 klau gduh dgn bf haha, amaran keras!no stupid things wahai perempuan2 di luar sane. selagi kite boleh pujuk dia, kite buat la dlu!hhaa, cheh i ni budget mcm dah matang2 je.hha:)
i hope sgt, die sejuk hati bile bace entry ni..
kat sni, i selitkan video i masakkan utk dia bfore mkn kt titiwangsa.haha,tpi i di bantu oleh mama la.:)
and beberapa pic kite dlm stu mingggu ni.,

i just wanna tell him, ape itu memories:)

to hafiz: i love u and "i syg u mcm nk mampos kot" :)

dapatkan disini

2009-07-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

bluemoon's songs.

1st video: luahan
2nd video : menyanyi untuk dirimu
3rd video: tidak akan pernah

2009-07-25T03:20:00.000-07:00

anda boleh dapatkannye disini

2009-07-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

walaupon 2,3, hri ni
kite dingerikan penyakit slsema ****, tpi itu x mnghalang smangat i nk brhadapan dgn
org rmai.
lamenyer x tulis blog, sbb i bkn penulis or pengarang trbaik.hhe.
i nk selitkan beberapa video utk tontonan ramai.
klau x best comment la, klau best diam je. :)
tarikh: 24.7.2009
tempat: LEPAQ cafe, kelana jaya mall. ( MEREKA SUDAH BERPINDAH)
bluemoon's songs : 1) tidak akan pernah.
2) menyanyi utk dirimu
3) Luahan

MINGGU final exam

2009-04-23T22:32:00.000-07:00

mulut berbau busuk

2009-04-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

kau adalah:

hipokrit
berlagak
pelakon terbaik
"fake"
lupe diri
pntingkn dri sndri

:)
takziah utk kau

rindu merindu

2009-04-06T09:04:00.001-07:00

tau ke ape mksud rindu??? :D

R- rindu
I- itu
N- namenyer
D- dugaan
U- ulangan.

Tipu la klau korang cakap korang RINDU sekali je dlm hidup kan? msti byk kli.. rindu tu memang akn mendatangkan stu perasaan resah gelisah. cheh wah.. itu memang dugaan bgi sya2.lately rindu yg dtg mcm2. merepek2 pon ade kn.. klau la kite ade penawar untuk penyakit rindu ni memang best. tpi ubat ape nak bgi klau rindu pada bf? xkn kene campak jantan lain, peluk2 cium2 then hilang la rindu.. hhee. x mungkin..klau rindu pde kwn? xkn kne tibe2 brkwan dgn sume org kan kan kan.?? org hot hot pon kwn kn. ok stop sha2.
so, mcm mne kite nk lafazkn rindu kite yg x terkate tu? klau dah tak terkate, kau nak kate ape lgi? erm contohnye.. time nak ckp "saye rindu awk" mmg lah senang kn, tiga perkataan je pon.. senang ke? perkataan rindu tu je dah tersekat sekat. rin..rinn..rinn ape rin..ton ke?ok enaf.

kite amek bhase inggeris plak la kan.. for example, cheh.. "i miss u".. same jugak, tiga perkataan jugak. tpi apesal mcm susah je nk lafazkn.. bru rindu blum love love lgi. :D nk cakap miss je pon susah.. miss miss mmiiss ape?miss syatirah ke.. oops sorry miss.

ok la, sbnrnyer bkn nk ckp psl ape kelebihan atau kekurangan rindu.hhe. sje nk nyatakan hasrat rindu kpada orang2 yg selama ni dkt or rapat dgn sya2. especially, for kak v, ain, famy and zack and kwn2 lain yg jauh di mata tpi dekat di hati. cheh.. sya2 cube utk menghubungi mereka semua, tpi mngkin dieorg ni di luar kwasan.hhhaa. klau dah luar kawasan tu, jgn main jauh2 sgt ye.

for those yg gmbar nye ade di sni, bukannye ape.. ini adalah org2 yg sya2 rindu untuk berbual2 seperti dlu kala ataupon berjumpa . dieorg busy perhaps.. jgn ingat ini slot jejak2 kasih er. ini slot jejak2 tapak kaki ataupon jejak2 jerejak.. ok fine ape ko merepek betina? klau dah rindu smpai trmimpi2, brlari dlm hujan smbil brpelukan, nangis2, jerit2 please la kol sya2 k...miss korang sgt!

cik ain shayang. kak vee shayang.

en.famy gile

en. zack :)

sikit je.

2009-02-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

aku tak mati dgn kutukan kau
aku tak hidup dgn pujian kau

terima kasih;)

gudbai nini!

2009-02-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

sedih sedih;(

goodbye nini

we lov u so much

tpi umh kite dkt je

nnti i nyebuk2 dtg umh u k..

hehhee

nini u best

nnti x leh lpk blik

u lgi main gossip2!

;)

ni adlh slot2 sesi

ksdihan.

first: SYAYSA PELUK NINI.

(muke aku cm *&(%^$#%**(&%)

second: ALLY PELUK NINI.

(knape muke ally x nmpk??)